We all know what language we can and can’t use in civilized society. For instance, most of us know that it’s unacceptable to pepper our department reports with profanities at the staff meeting and to tell an unforgiving or pushy customer to go #$&@! themselves when they get abusive. It’s generally recognized that it’s simply not how things are done in business. Yet, this language is relatively mild compared to other words that we tend to use loosely and without thought on a daily basis.
So while George Carlin has his infamous seven dirty words, Bill Werst at Growth Associates has his ten dirty words that interfere with successful communication, motivation, and personal success:
- TRY
- CAN’T
- IF
- FAIR
- THEY
- WHY
- SHOULD (OUGHT)
- UNDERSTAND
- BUT (HOWEVER)
- RIGHT
Not so dirty, but we do tend to use them innocently enough in our daily communication. Bill offers more detailed explanations for each word and its misuse and then some more powerful alternatives.
Anyone who knows me quickly learns that I have a major problem with #9 – But (However). Nothing peeves me more than having someone tell me how interesting, resourceful, fantastic, etc. an idea is only to completely negate everything with a BUT. The problem is that we’re taught to start criticism with a positive before we get into errors or other stuff that really should have been done (which is #7 on the list – see, these words can be compounded for maximum ineffectiveness).
This week, watch your language. Just as you won’t tell an employee that they really f’ed up this time, don’t tell them that they should be a more responsible worker. And help your staff mind their words as well. It could be the difference between okay customer service and WOW-inspiring customer service.

Thanks all for your comments. Cyn, I'm reading Gladwell's Blink and it's reminding me of the principle you refer to: accepting an opening. My few experiences with improv have been wonderful learning tools for just being in the present. However, blending the "yes AND" into our daily lives is challenging at times.
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