Never Too Late To Reconnect
08.08.2005 | Chris Bailey | Focused on LifeThis was a great Monday. I have to admit that I’ve struggled with my Mondays for the past few weeks. Maybe it’s just a part of returning to office life after my nine-month "work from home" self-employment experiment. Maybe it’ll pass with time. Or maybe its just one of those personality quirks of mine; sometimes it takes a little while for me to find my groove. Whatever it is, I’ve found it challenging to reorient myself back into the office and my work after a weekend.
Today was quite different and I believe it has a lot to do with my weekend. I went back to my hometown in West Virginia to celebrate my cousin’s wedding. As I mature and mellow in my early 30s, I’m coming to appreciate my kin more and it was interesting to see this young man (who used to be just a kid who wanted me to watch him play baseball) take a big step in his life.
Perhaps the best part of all is that I am now related through this marriage to a dear childhood friend. Our friendship goes all the way back to first grade. Sadly, we lost complete touch after high school and this was the first time I had seen him in over ten years. Not so sadly was the fact that we picked up almost right where we left off. We watched our kids play together on the reception dance floor, traded stories of career changes, even got our wives talking together like they were old pals. The whole experience was a true joy that I just carried along with me today.
Now comes for the part where I acknowledge that my friendships are critically important to me and that I’ve done a rather poor job in keeping in touch. I’m probably not alone there. But I just don’t want to say that I’ll stay in better communication with the dear people in my life, I want to act on it. This takes an honest commitment so here’s mine: I will call (not email) each of my dear friends at least once every three months. Of course, I’ll find that I’ll have some competing commitments (probably involving time) that I’ll have to work through.
It all comes down to the ideal of an Integrated Livelihood: bringing the important roles of our lives (including work) into a holistic understanding. Getting off the see-saw of the work/life balance conundrum means figuring out what’s important and incorporating these aspects into a whole life. My friendships have been missing from my integrated livelihood; I’m resolving to bring them in.
This coming weekend, I’m off to another wedding. This time it’s for one of my dearest friends in Tennessee. If today is any indication, next Monday will be another terrific day.
3 Responses to “Never Too Late To Reconnect”
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I can relate. I moved to Florida in 1996, leaving behind 30 years of friendships. Over the past 9 years, I have struggled to keep in touch. I haven’t done as well as I would have liked.
Although your intent here was on maintaining friendships here, the Monday morning comment grabbed me and hauled me down another road. I have always had problems with Mondays. In fifth grade I missed school on about twelve of em.
In Marcus B’s book, FBATR, a manager talks to his new recruits about self discovery. He says to use the Sunday night blues test. If you don’t have a little stab of depression on Sunday night, ask why?
About three years ago I wrote in the margin, “Little stab of depression Marcus? How about an all encompassing empalement of uncontrollable hysteria?” It usually started around 3pm on Sunday. The internal battle was fierce. It was like slowly turning into a werewolf while practicing meditative, mind controlling things to stop it.
Early on I hated school and later on I hated being trapped in a role and not knowing what to do. The point is, Sunday / Monday pain is a litmus test into the “do you enjoy what you are doing thing?”
Man Chris, I certainly don’t want to be a downer with your new gig and all, but Sunday pain has never been without a reason for me. Maybe you can take some time and write down exactly what it is you don’t like about Mondays now.
Speaking of dream jobs and all, I think everyone with blogs should follow what Troy did at http://www.troyworman.com. Troy perpetuated Curt Rosengren’s post on What is Your Dream Job? Matter of fact, I think I will! Great idea Troy!
And speaking of fading friendships, after two months in Florida myself, I can see how easily it is to just let go of the rope and drift.
Dave, I really think it has a lot to do with what I wrote: it sometimes takes a day to find my groove. Psychologically, it takes me a bit of time to change gears from weekend guy (doing home-type stuff, playing with the girls, taking day trips, etc.) and weekday guy.
Maybe I’m deluding myself, but I’m not sure it has so much to do with the new gig. The reason I say this is that I’ve known that “Sunday dread,” the feeling that the weekend is over and it’s time to head back to work. It used to hit me like a ton of bricks about two jobs back. Want to know where it really perked up? The day before it was time to leave for vacation. I would literally be in a funk that final day of vacation because the fun was over and it was time to head back to the salt mines.
It’s Sunday and I’m eager to get back to work tomorrow. With that said, it might still take that day to hit my groove again.