Because There’s Just Too Much “Bad” Conflict…
10.18.2005 | Chris Bailey | Focused on Life
So what are you doing this Thursday, October 20? Hopefully, you’re taking part in the first ever Conflict Resolution Day. A huge reason for the creation of this day is to help generate greater awareness of the benefits of alternative dispute resolution and peaceable solutions to violence.
The Association for Conflict Resolution has a growing list of events that are taking place throughout the U.S. and a few other places in the world.
Even if you’re not a professional practitioner, you can still be involved in the celebrating the spirit of conflict resolution. John D. Willis, the Director of the Graduate Studies in Dispute Resolution at Sullivan University, has some ideas for small ways to recognize and honor Conflict Resolution Day:
- apologize for what you did
- forgive, accept an apology and move on
- stop negativity or gossip all day
- cancel a debt for someone who can’t pay
- analyze why you are angry and get control of it
- tell the truth all day
- send an email of appreciation to someone who will be surprised
- lead your group in the right direction, all day
- present a workable solution to the group that shows goodwill
- sit with a lonely person and listen carefully to them
4 Responses to “Because There’s Just Too Much “Bad” Conflict…”
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Conflict is inevitable! I just wrapped a class on interpersonal process a week ago and conflict definitely was a topic we spent a good chuck of time on. The key to solving any conflict is taking a step back to cool down before rushing in with emotion and no tact! Easier set than done in the heat of the moment but critical. Look to the interests of both parties in the conflict, try to separate the emotion from the problem and do some problem solving together! Conflict has produced some amazing things – it can either be good or bad depending on the outcome! New ideas, closer relationships, honest communication can all be positive results when unresolved conflicts are finally dealt with!
G
Thank you, Chris. I’m not surprised you’d be involved. I wanted to offer a couple of books:
Loving What Is by Byron Katie
and
Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg
Warm aloha,
Robin
Garth, you’re exactly right…the key most folks don’t understand is that conflict is rich with opportunities for growth. It’s not the negative that most of us are (taught?) throughout our lives.
One thing that I’ve learned a lot about lately is the power of mediation – getting parties to meet and collaborate on common solutions. We tend to best utilize those solutions that we help build. Rather than having someone hand over a solution, why not co-create one with another individual. As you said, easier said than done. Which is why it’s essential to find a talented, neutral mediator to help.
Robin,
I’m familiar with Marshall Rosenberg, but not Byron Katie. I’ll check him out.
Very cool. I wish I had seen this sooner!