Archive | 2005

Practicing Small Kindnesses

Think making a huge difference in someone’s life takes a herculean effort or a lot of time? Just ask Scott Hodge who not only rediscovered the power of a buck, but the power of simple generosity.

What I love about his later reflection is how this isn’t only a lesson for him, but for his kids. Scott writes:

This is going to be Elise’s bedtime
story tonight. Why?  Because I want her to be this kind of person. I
want her to understand the value in helping people – even at her own
expense. It’s easy to open a door for someone. It’s easy to help
someone carry something heavy. But it’s not always easy pulling out
the $5 dollar bill.

Think the world’s going to hell in a handbasket? Nah, that’s just overrated, cynical chatter. The chance to experience and return small kindnesses is all around us.

The Power Of Our Common Bonds

Tammy Lenski wrote yesterday about her most recent experience as a volunteer for the Best Friends Animal Society and their efforts in the Hurricane Katrina area. The temporary sanctuary/triage unit/field hospital/reunification center just north of the Louisiana border in Tylertown, Mississippi has attracted volunteers throughout the country. In a battered place with far from optimal conditions, one might expect to see all kinds of conflict. She noted that none was to be found. In Tammy’s reflection for why this was, she writes:

It’s the power of feeling passionately about why we were there. The power of believing, first and foremost, that our mission was to help these animals, and understanding implicitly that having our own way or convincing someone else that we’re right or the righteousness of feeling tread upon were all less important than keeping these animals alive, helping them heal, and helping them find home again.

And later:

It’s surprisingly easy to set differences aside when we’re focused on what brings us together.

Sometimes it amazes me what petty and minor strife we allow into our relationships. We let the most foolish of things drive wedges between us and our loved ones…even our colleagues at work. We cling to our few competing differences like there’s no tomorrow and forsake the many heartful similarities that bind our hopes and dreams.

None of this is to say that I’m without my own problems on this issue. I have my own family squabbles to contend with. There are always workplace flare-ups. Yet, there’s something in Tammy’s post that has nudged me toward a deeper reflection. I find myself asking why its so much easier to get attached to our differences of opinion rather than the similarities.

Whatever the answers, I honestly believe the power and spirit lies in those common bonds that bring us together.

Is More Money Really The Answer?

Going back through some older emails from the office, I found this from ASAE’s Greater Washington Network e-newsletter:

When your employees leave, they leave for more money. At least that’s the story they give as they head out the door according to a new survey from the Society for Human Resource Management and CareerJournal.com, which notes that "better compensation" is the reason most often cited by exiting employees. That’s only part of the story, however. Opportunity will find some people, but, usually, people find the opportunity—which means there is something about their current situation that has them looking. According to the same survey, 76 percent of workers are looking for new opportunities. The best way to keep them working for your organization is to keep them cozy. A competitive salary structure is your first and best option—it’s hard for most people to leave for less money. However, the survey notes that employers have several other weapons for their arsenal, including career development opportunities, promoting good workers, and flexible work schedules.

On first blush, I figured that this was the same old data that we keep seeing: the keys to employee retention are better pay, more training, greater understanding of work/life balance, etc., etc. Yet, I wonder why we keep reading these statistics and recommendations as if its new information. If these things really are the keys to solid retention efforts, why don’t they get put into play more? Are companies too unyielding or too resistant? Or perhaps companies do offer the kind of salary, career development, promotion, and flexibility options that employees want and they just aren’t enough.

Here’s my wager: they are not actually the true keys. They are merely band-aids applied to make us managers and executives feel better. They don’t address the real, core problems of the organization. Peter Block, in Stewardship, has influenced me to keep digging deeper into the relationship each of us has with our work. Peter writes:

The problem we face is that the organizational forms we have inherited and internalized do not nurture the realization of security, freedom, service. In fact, we’ve lost faith that these questions can be answered at the workplace. We have come to believe that to be productive in the marketplace we have to sacrifice our freedom, place our security in the hands of others, and bootleg our wish to be of service.

What would happen if we started offering our employees a true "grown-up" environment in which they could seek these three qualities?  What would happen if we stopped trying to play the "good parent" by coming up with more ways to earn our employees’ love and devotion? And what would happen if we all stopped looking for our organizations to take care of all of our needs? Just maybe we’d finally have something new to talk about.

Dumping The “When…Then” Excuse

I’ve written before about my recovery from perfectionism. One of the related habits that I’ve been able to at least consciously notice, if not kick outright, is the urge to put something on hold until all the conditions are just right. I wouldn’t quite label the action as procrastination, but the behavior has an easy to recognize verbal structure: "when…then."

You may have heard some else say it; an employee, a boss, a spouse. Perhaps it was part of your own inner dialogue. It might have sounded something like…

"When my boss starts to listen to me, then I’ll be able to do my job."
"When I improve my presentation skills, then I’ll submit a speaking proposal."
"When I get that promotion, then I’ll be able to negotiate for more time to spend with my kids."

This kind of thinking not only plays into the obvious futility of our own desire for perfection and control, but masks an even more insidious problem which is a need to play the helpless victim. It’s an excuse to live a halfway life, one that banks on the illusions of safety and comfort. It’s the supposed promise of something better just around the corner.

Instead of believing that the answer to what we want is out there and in someone else hands, this is an invitation to seek answers from within. It’s an invitation to ask ourselves, "why not now?" It’s an invitation to live a whole life with no regrets.

Is This What Leadership Looks Like?

I was chatting with my CEO yesterday when I noticed a stack of periodicals on his small conference table. On top of the stack was a trade magazine in which the latest issue deals with leadership (or at least I think so even though there seemed to be just one article on the subject). But what caught my attention was the cover picture:Ae_novdec05_1

Is this what leadership looks like? A person intensely gazing at nothing while others look up at the figure eagerly awaiting her decision? Okay…maybe that’s a loaded question. Or is it? Maybe I just like asking questions this morning(?) Here’s another one: if you had to draw a picture of leadership, what might it look like?

If it looks like the picture to the right, you might need to go back to the drawing board. For me, this picture seems to evoke the ideas of:

  • dependency leadership – I’ll take care of you
  • savior leadership – I’ll make everything okay
  • oracle leadership – I’ll answer all of your questions because I know everything that’s going on here

I’m sure we’ve all experienced and maybe even practiced these different types of leadership (I have and it almost led to a nervous breakdown). More than likely, they proved ineffective for your organization’s employees, as well.

If you’re struggling with your own leadership abilities and defining your own leadership style, I highly recommend Peter Block’s book, Stewardship. It’s nothing short of a radical rethinking of how our organizations work. After reading it, you might just swear off leadership as a way of getting things done in your company or association.