Comments on: Can I Be Honest With You? http://www.baileyworkplay.com/2006/03/can-i-be-honest-with-you/ Rethinking Customer Experience & Marketing Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:56:05 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Chris Bailey http://www.baileyworkplay.com/2006/03/can-i-be-honest-with-you/comment-page-1/#comment-406 Chris Bailey Sat, 01 Apr 2006 14:30:51 +0000 http://baileyworkplay.com/2006/03/29/can-i-be-honest-with-you/#comment-406 Dwayne, that's one of the perks of getting involved with Toastmasters. You get the benefit of having a group of people help you zero in on those filler words and phrases. Which reminds me...I need to find another group soon. And I'm right there with you...not only knowing about the presence of videotaping during a difficult conversation, but having to relive the encounter in the review. It might explain why we tend to make the same mistakes over and over again in our own conflicts. But think how rich that learning would be if we could have the courage to relive and at the same time objectively critique our own thoughts and actions. Dwayne, that’s one of the perks of getting involved with Toastmasters. You get the benefit of having a group of people help you zero in on those filler words and phrases. Which reminds me…I need to find another group soon.

And I’m right there with you…not only knowing about the presence of videotaping during a difficult conversation, but having to relive the encounter in the review. It might explain why we tend to make the same mistakes over and over again in our own conflicts. But think how rich that learning would be if we could have the courage to relive and at the same time objectively critique our own thoughts and actions.

]]> By: Dwayne Melancon http://www.baileyworkplay.com/2006/03/can-i-be-honest-with-you/comment-page-1/#comment-405 Dwayne Melancon Fri, 31 Mar 2006 05:28:50 +0000 http://baileyworkplay.com/2006/03/29/can-i-be-honest-with-you/#comment-405 Excellent "thinkabout" topic, Chris. There are so many hedge phrases that we become accustomed to using - Fear is a big driver of behavior like this. I know I probably use phrases like that without even realizing it. I've done exercises in which I videotape presentations to help become conscious of umms, ah's, and all those kinds of filler words. Can you imagine how uncomfortable it would be if someone videotaped difficult meetings, encounters, etc. in the same way? I get twitchy just thinking about it! Excellent “thinkabout” topic, Chris. There are so many hedge phrases that we become accustomed to using – Fear is a big driver of behavior like this. I know I probably use phrases like that without even realizing it.

I’ve done exercises in which I videotape presentations to help become conscious of umms, ah’s, and all those kinds of filler words.

Can you imagine how uncomfortable it would be if someone videotaped difficult meetings, encounters, etc. in the same way? I get twitchy just thinking about it!

]]> By: Chris Bailey http://www.baileyworkplay.com/2006/03/can-i-be-honest-with-you/comment-page-1/#comment-404 Chris Bailey Wed, 29 Mar 2006 17:20:34 +0000 http://baileyworkplay.com/2006/03/29/can-i-be-honest-with-you/#comment-404 Tim, I think you hit on a valuable distinction...the difference between dishonesty and lack of honesty. The former is an ethical issue, the latter is a communication issue. And both lead to serious problems in a relationship. I'm interested to know if you'd be willing to share some more about the emotional impact that you mentioned. Have you found a way to effectively create the space for sharing emotion as a means of yielding a more honest dialogue? Tim, I think you hit on a valuable distinction…the difference between dishonesty and lack of honesty. The former is an ethical issue, the latter is a communication issue. And both lead to serious problems in a relationship.

I’m interested to know if you’d be willing to share some more about the emotional impact that you mentioned. Have you found a way to effectively create the space for sharing emotion as a means of yielding a more honest dialogue?

]]> By: Tim Taylor http://www.baileyworkplay.com/2006/03/can-i-be-honest-with-you/comment-page-1/#comment-403 Tim Taylor Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:52:31 +0000 http://baileyworkplay.com/2006/03/29/can-i-be-honest-with-you/#comment-403 Thank you for posting your experience. I consult and tell my current client, frequently, that I am amazed by the lack of honesty that I encounter. It's not outright dishonesty, it's just a crippling lack of honesty. The biggest issue seems to be emotional. The opinions or facts aren't to hard to draw out. The emotional intention of the issue as well as its emotional impact seems to come most notably into play. For me, its a clear point in life where emotions and feeligns which can never truly be expressed but always felt meet up energetically with facts and opinions. Thank you for posting your experience. I consult and tell my current client, frequently, that I am amazed by the lack of honesty that I encounter.

It’s not outright dishonesty, it’s just a crippling lack of honesty. The biggest issue seems to be emotional. The opinions or facts aren’t to hard to draw out.

The emotional intention of the issue as well as its emotional impact seems to come most notably into play. For me, its a clear point in life where emotions and feeligns which can never truly be expressed but always felt meet up energetically with facts and opinions.

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