Take The Mea Culpa Bus
06.10.2006 | Chris BaileyMy wife brought me a lesson yesterday evening that really hit home. She was chatting with a friend from a past job who had some interesting news about a former co-worker. Turns out he got fired for both not adhering to clearly communicated working policies and thinking he was above those rules as an assistant manager.
Well, that’s really not why he got fired…that’s merely why he landed himself in some pretty hot water. What got him booted from his job was being defensive and indignant and rather unapologetic about his actions.
As an assistant manager or senior director or any position of organizational authority, we are all leaders. And as leaders with power, we have a greater set of expectations and must model a higher set of values for those around us. As Uncle Ben famously tells Peter Parker, “With great power comes great responsibility.” That’s responsibility that cannot be abused.
However, we all stumble from time to time…it’s human nature. How we react after those stumblings reflects on our own sense of leadership character. What should we do when we fall?
Take full responsibility. Not a little, not three-quarters, but full responsibility. Leaders don’t shirk their own accountability. If you crossed a line or broke a rule, come clean about it. And even if you feel partly justified in your action, ask whether that justification comes from your own pride and ego.
Ask for forgiveness. As hard as it is to say “I’m sorry,” there are few words in the language that have as much power. Make it honest and sincere, make it from the heart.
Seek to understand how to earn trust and respect back. This is usually the part that gets missed and yet can be the most valuable.
Act. Now, show your contrition by making the most of the moment. Your character is on the line. How will you respond?
2 Responses to “Take The Mea Culpa Bus”
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A while ago I worked with the Director of a department in which a great employee with a lot of tenure broke a very important rule. This was someone who trained others because of his knowledge of the business. The rule had been communicated in writing not long before the infraction and he had signed a document saying he understood the importance of the rule to the mission of the company, credibility with a key supplier, and reputation with customers. It said breaking the rule was a terminable offense. However, the Director was really torn, as this was someone she’d worked with for a long time and had implicitly trusted. It would hard to refill his job. She knew termination would have a big impact on others in the department. She had always liked the guy, too, so she also felt some guilt. As she and I talked about the situation she began to formulate in her mind what the employee would have to do to maintain his job — it basically came down to the first three of the steps you listed in your post, especially number one. Per company policy, she offered him a chance to talk with her before making her final decision. The employee’s response was to bring a lawyer to the meeting and try to explain away the entire incident under the category,”I didn’t know it was that important.” After listening for 30 minutes to his defensiveness and lack of responsibility, her decision was made quite simple.
Dan, thanks for the story. You’ve eloquently highlighted the perspective from the other side of the relationship: how a leader deals with an employee who has broken your trust and done something to lose respect for them.
There seems to be a strong link to the dialogue that Dick Richards has stimulated with one of my recent posts on love in the workplace.
I wonder how it all might have come out differently in your story above if the individual in the wrong had just made an honest, sincere, and humbling apology?