Take The Mea Culpa Bus

Dan, thanks for the story. You've eloquently highlighted the perspective from the other side of the relationship: how a leader deals with an employee who has broken your trust and done something to lose respect for them.

There seems to be a strong link to the dialogue that Dick Richards has stimulated with one of my recent posts on love in the workplace.

I wonder how it all might have come out differently in your story above if the individual in the wrong had just made an honest, sincere, and humbling apology?

A while ago I worked with the Director of a department in which a great employee with a lot of tenure broke a very important rule. This was someone who trained others because of his knowledge of the business. The rule had been communicated in writing not long before the infraction and he had signed a document saying he understood the importance of the rule to the mission of the company, credibility with a key supplier, and reputation with customers. It said breaking the rule was a terminable offense. However, the Director was really torn, as this was someone she'd worked with for a long time and had implicitly trusted. It would hard to refill his job. She knew termination would have a big impact on others in the department. She had always liked the guy, too, so she also felt some guilt. As she and I talked about the situation she began to formulate in her mind what the employee would have to do to maintain his job -- it basically came down to the first three of the steps you listed in your post, especially number one. Per company policy, she offered him a chance to talk with her before making her final decision. The employee's response was to bring a lawyer to the meeting and try to explain away the entire incident under the category,"I didn't know it was that important." After listening for 30 minutes to his defensiveness and lack of responsibility, her decision was made quite simple.