Comments on: Sit On The Same Side Of The Table http://www.baileyworkplay.com/2006/12/sit-on-the-same-side-of-the-table/ Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:24:56 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Chris Bailey http://www.baileyworkplay.com/2006/12/sit-on-the-same-side-of-the-table/comment-page-1/#comment-859 Chris Bailey Wed, 19 Nov 2008 01:22:35 +0000 http://baileyworkplay.com/2006/12/29/sit-on-the-same-side-of-the-table/#comment-859 Ath007, for me the whole notion of sitting on the same side of the table is largely metaphorical (though I can see the physical nature of it, too). I always think of those scenes of two people negotiating a divorce or other sort of issue. They sit on opposite sides with a table acting as barrier in the middle. It keeps them separated and distanced when a closer connection is what's truly needed. And in my experience, we can fall prey to doing this with our customers - keep them just out of reach as a way to defend ourselves (rather like a suit of armor). However, what's needed today are closer connections and relationships, authenticity and guilelessness. It sounds like you do practice the metaphorical notion of meeting on the same side of the table. Here's the part of your question that's taken me a bit off-guard: I almost always sit on the opposite side of my wife or friend when eating. I almost think its a learned behavior. Look at other couples and more often than not, they're sitting across from each other undoubtedly for the reasons you mention above. But what could be the harm of sitting next to a friend, spouse, partner, (or even a business colleague)? The physical structure would then best mirror the metaphorical idea and solidify the connection between you and the other person. I think I'll try this the next time I'm out in a restaurant and observe what happens. Thanks so much for your comment, perspective, and opinion of my post. Ath007, for me the whole notion of sitting on the same side of the table is largely metaphorical (though I can see the physical nature of it, too). I always think of those scenes of two people negotiating a divorce or other sort of issue. They sit on opposite sides with a table acting as barrier in the middle. It keeps them separated and distanced when a closer connection is what’s truly needed. And in my experience, we can fall prey to doing this with our customers – keep them just out of reach as a way to defend ourselves (rather like a suit of armor). However, what’s needed today are closer connections and relationships, authenticity and guilelessness. It sounds like you do practice the metaphorical notion of meeting on the same side of the table.

Here’s the part of your question that’s taken me a bit off-guard: I almost always sit on the opposite side of my wife or friend when eating. I almost think its a learned behavior. Look at other couples and more often than not, they’re sitting across from each other undoubtedly for the reasons you mention above.

But what could be the harm of sitting next to a friend, spouse, partner, (or even a business colleague)? The physical structure would then best mirror the metaphorical idea and solidify the connection between you and the other person. I think I’ll try this the next time I’m out in a restaurant and observe what happens.

Thanks so much for your comment, perspective, and opinion of my post.

]]> By: ath007 http://www.baileyworkplay.com/2006/12/sit-on-the-same-side-of-the-table/comment-page-1/#comment-844 ath007 Wed, 12 Nov 2008 16:29:12 +0000 http://baileyworkplay.com/2006/12/29/sit-on-the-same-side-of-the-table/#comment-844 Fantastic article. To be frank, i have been doing this naturally with my customers. I had found out that they were more open minded and clearer and seemingly more comfortable to pass on a idea or a request or so. But recently, when a friend of mine and me, went out to have dinner, we sat on opposite ends of the table. This was something that i used to do since i was kid. This way, i felt that i could see and interact with the person by directly looking at his face when i looked up. The other way, when we sit side by side, concentration seems to be completely on the food, which would seem rather awkward. My opinion. So we were having dinner and my friend surprised me with a statement; "Best friends sit side by side while eating". So my questions are; Is it true? Considering this social interaction, is it? Isnt it just a personal or psychological opinion, which we try to copy into our daily lifes? Arent we supposed to accept the situation in the manner with which we are more, usually, comfortable with? Looking forward to a reply because this has been small bother. We have to make both ends happy, right? And again, fantastic post. Thanks. :) Fantastic article.

To be frank, i have been doing this naturally with my customers. I had found out that they were more open minded and clearer and seemingly more comfortable to pass on a idea or a request or so.

But recently, when a friend of mine and me, went out to have dinner, we sat on opposite ends of the table. This was something that i used to do since i was kid. This way, i felt that i could see and interact with the person by directly looking at his face when i looked up. The other way, when we sit side by side, concentration seems to be completely on the food, which would seem rather awkward. My opinion.

So we were having dinner and my friend surprised me with a statement; “Best friends sit side by side while eating”.

So my questions are; Is it true? Considering this social interaction, is it? Isnt it just a personal or psychological opinion, which we try to copy into our daily lifes? Arent we supposed to accept the situation in the manner with which we are more, usually, comfortable with?

Looking forward to a reply because this has been small bother. We have to make both ends happy, right?

And again, fantastic post.

Thanks. :)

]]>