Career
Mentors Are Everywhere
Even though I’m technically out of the non-profit association world, I still like to check in frequently with friends and other folks who keep this vital area of our working world moving. Over at the association for association professionals (ASAE) they have a blog called Acronym. To work in associations is to understand why this particular blog name is rather clever and playful.
A couple of days ago, Lisa Junker noted an interview with Howard Gardner in the March 2007 Harvard Business Review where he talks about the influence of an anti-mentor. Gardner describes anti-mentors as “potential role models who had been unkind to their employees or who had shown behavior that others would not want to emulate.”
Lisa writes:
This struck a chord with me, and as I consider the idea, I’m surprised to realize how much of my personal management style has been shaped not by the good examples but by the bad ones. Many things I strive to do as a manager—like moving heaven and earth to do a review on time, or providing constructive feedback immediately when needed (in a private setting) instead of letting issues fester, to give just two examples—came about because I’ve seen the atmosphere that can be created when these basic things don’t happen.
Which prompted Lisa to ask: “What lessons can you thank your anti-mentors for?”
There’s quite a lot to consider in her question. The first is that, as employees, we are capable of being grateful for the examples of lousy management. Within that, there’s a certain release that from being in a less-than-optimal professional relationship. And we also gain a greater sense of control when we can acknowledge our own learning in these situations. This doesn’t excuse shoddy management practices and certainly nothing that creates toxic work environments, but by taking time to consider how situations of anti-mentorship are contributing to our own growth, we can turn some of this pain and discomfort to our own advantage. If nothing else, it teaches us we need to get the hell out of that organization as fast as humanly possible.
I also realize that it’s not quite as easy to throw my former managers and colleagues into the two separate buckets of mentors and anti-mentors. Each of them have their strengths as well as their flaws - all of which have contributed to my own practice of being a manager and leader. In our not quite so black and white world, it seems more appropriate to consider our past managers as human beings who have a mixed bag of qualities.
And rather than thinking we have to have it all together before we can possibly mentor someone, John West encourages us to just do it and do it now.
More Posts You Might Like...
Dialogue
About the Soulful Work Dialogue...My writings here are just the beginning. Your thoughts, experiences, questions, and perspectives add incredible value to the dialogue here. Don't be shy. Contribute and share yourself.
2 comments for “Mentors Are Everywhere”
Add to the Dialogue...
Recent Posts
- Latest Research: Using A Symbolic Approach To Connect Organizational and Corporate Cultures
- September Is A Perfect Month To Talk About Work
- Faith And The Bankrupt Leader
- At Connection Cafe: Bring Your Staff Into Your Community
- The Art Of Managing Self-Interest
- At Connection Cafe: Five Steps To Make Employees Your Best Brand Ambassadors
- Do You Know A Rock Star When You See One?
- Five Ways To Treat Employees Like Customers
- At Connection Cafe: Don’t Take Your Staff’s Engagement For Granted
- Every Single Person Is Responsible For Customer Experience
Delicious Links
Favorite Reads
- the [non]billable hour
- Engineers without Fears
- Bernie DeKoven, funsmith
- A View from Home
- Sanders Says
- The WorldBlu Blog
- Internet Duct Tape
- The New Charm School: Jennifer Warwick’s Blog for Recovering Type A Types
- Copyblogger
- Boxes and Arrows
These are random selections of my favorite blog reads...See the full list.
I completely missed this post when you originally put it up, Chris–I really apologize. Thank you so much for your thoughtful feedback about anti-mentors, and what it means to think about them.
I especially like your comments here: “as employees, we are capable of being grateful for the examples of lousy management. Within that, there’s a certain release that from being in a less-than-optimal professional relationship. And we also gain a greater sense of control when we can acknowledge our own learning in these situations.”
I think this is absolutely true. And I’m also grateful for the additional push these examples give me. There are always times when you want to give in to your lesser impulses–you’re tired, you’re stressed. But having anti-mentor examples in my past gives me a little additional strength to call on in situations like that. I remember how I felt when someone snapped at me or treated me poorly; it gives me additional motivation to never make someone else feel that way. This of course doesn’t mean that I have a perfect track record either–but when I realize that I’ve messed up, you can bet I apologize and try to make amends if I can.
Hi Lisa, no apologies necessary. It’s tough to keep up with all the blog stuff that’s out here. Glad we connected back to this theme. One key is empathy and the degree to which a managerial candidate has this trait will likely determine their success. If you’re a selfish jackass, you probably won’t fare too well. Yep, it’s possible to change, but empathy is an inborn characteristic that’s rather difficult to pick up along the way (and forget finding a professional development training session for it).