Looking for some way to fire up your employees? Or maybe just thinking about setting fire to them? Well Steve Sharam (who can also be found pondering at When Reality Knocks) offers up some helpful tips based on past best practices.

Case in point:

In ancient Rome, there was a group of female priests called the Vestal Virgins whose job it was to make sure the eternal flame didn’t go out. That was it. Pretty cushy job, really. They had socialized medicine, weekly manicures and complementary bus-passes, which for the ancient world was pretty good. If they didn’t do a good job and keep the fire going, however, they would be buried alive with little food and water and lose their discount at J. C. Penny’s. Now it seems clear to me that all you’d have to do is off a couple of these vestal virgins and the rest would be really strongly motivated to keep the damned fire going already.

Yes, it’s about time we make examples of those slack jawed, adequately achieving, middle of the pack folks. Make them fight a few bears in the office kitchen. Or bring out the tar and feathers (there’s a punishment that deserves a revival).

It’ll do two things…it will scare the bejesus out of the lower performers and give the higher performers some much needed entertainment.