Some of us run with folks like Jory Des Jardins and some of us can only (for now) aspire to their adventures. Guess I sort of fall into that latter category. Perhaps I’m still basking in the afterglow of the big adventure that brought me and my family to Texas, but I’ve been less than daring in taking in new life experiences lately.

This morning, though, I find myself reinvigorated and ready to seek out some new adventures. My inspiration comes from Jory’s latest post where she talks about some of her own internal conflicts with seeking out real life adventure. But then she launches into her past month and reveals that – a trip to glamorous Monaco notwithstanding – her everyday life is actually rather adventurous.

There are two types of adventure we can seek out in our lives. The first is the grand version, which is what we usually equate to adventure. This is the bold backpacking trip through Costa Rica, sailing the Greek Isles, rafting the Gauley River in West Virginia, or just packing the car and setting off for a yet-unknown destination. These are experiences out of the normal flow of life. And for many of us who actually have responsibilities like jobs and children, these grand adventures are few and far between. That doesn’t mean they’re out of reach, they just may not happen as often as we’d like.

The second type of adventure can be found in the everyday. These experiences are accessible to each of us, it just requires more imagination and a willingness to think differently about what adventure really is. For me, adventure is about seeking out something new with some element of risk involved. It should get my heart pounding and evoke feelings of excitement and yes…a little fear. The everyday experience may then be chatting with a stranger (I’m kinda shy so this does get my heart racing a bit), volunteering for a meals-on-wheels drive (something I’ve never done before), or submitting an article I’ve been working on for magazine publication (I have no idea if my stuff is good enough). Those are a few of my examples…what about you?

Thanks Jory for the inspiration. And for you…what adventure can you get yourself into in the next 30 days? Any adventures – both grand and everyday – which have had a meaningful impact on your own life lately?

Here’s another post in my semi-official series titled, I screw up so you don’t have to…

There are times when I struggle to balance my idealism and realism. Over the past few years, I’ve edged more toward the side of realism, focusing on foreseeing any problems or complications with an idea. Hell, I’ve even made a cardinal sin by poking holes in ideas and talking about all the reasons why they won’t work.

I don’t think it used to be this way. It’s likely the soft erosion of optimism that occurs when realism just feels so much more comfortable. And safe. But it’s not too late to bring back tough-minded optimism. For instance, Bob Sutton provides just the encouraging kick in the pants that I need with his post called Realists vs. Idealists: Thoughts about Creativity and Innovation.

He writes:

…One of the most powerful and persistent findings in the behavioral sciences is the self-fulfilling prophecy: Simply believing that something will happen, and convincing others that it will be so, increases the odds that it will, indeed, come true. Realists often do a fantastic job of convincing others why good ideas will fail; while idealists push on and inspire others to join them against the odds. Now, I am not against realists. We need real evidence and we need to know the risks of what we are doing, but the irony is that the odds of failure may be objectively lower for idealists then realists (and pessimists); so the prophecies of each group may be fulfilled. Moreover, when the odds are against you or your idea, oddly enough, one of the few methods that have been shown to increase the odds of success is convince yourself and others that – if everyone just persists – the odds of success are high. This paradox has always intrigued me and I write about it a lot in Weird Ideas That Work. And does have a very practical, and evidence-based, implication: All other things being equal, you should bet on optimists rather pessimists.

Just what I needed to read.

But the bonus of the article is the cartoon that Bob procured from the New Yorker which shows the real score between realists and idealists. If it seems like the realists are winning every inning, just remember that they’re likely not winning the game. Go check out Bob’s post for the cartoon to see what I mean.

Connected to my last post, I thought I’d share a comment I made at O’Reilly Radar about the Shelfari pile-on currently taking place in the blogosphere. For those not keeping score at home, Shelfari screwed up in numerous ways lately by violating the trust of its users. And there have been countless blogposts documenting what happened (Google shelfari, astroturfing, and spam). The problem I have now is how cut-throat the bloggerati (or maybe a better term is blogarazzi) are in their attacks using words such as evil, sleazy, and rapist. It’s almost enough to make you believe that civil discourse is officially in the toilet.

Here’s the comment I left:

First off, let me just say that I don’t work for Shelfari and have no true stake in their success. I have used Shelfari for a few months and personally found little to complain about with them. Actually even met some new folks who share similar interests in books. But I am troubled by all of the hoopla lately. Okay, now on to my main point…

I work for a small and quickly growing company that’s unrelated to Shelfari, LibraryThing, and others. However, I see similarities here…and they largely come from the bloggerati who jump on companies looking for blood wherever they can find it. Did Shelfari screw up? Hell yes they did. Did they make some extremely stupid decisions? Hell yes again. Are they “evil” and “sleazy”? C’mon…let’s leave these words to the folks who truly deserve them.

But Josh has a lot of work to do to rebuild trust in a company that’s all about trustworthiness. Bet he didn’t appreciate that a few months ago and now is the time to watch and see what happens. For his and Shelfari’s sake, let’s hope they’re quick learners who understand the value of transparency and their customers’ social capital.

Maybe I’m a little more quick to forgive than I should be…I just know that few outside of Shelfari truly know these folks who work there and their character. It’s too easy to assume the worst and far too easy to engage in character assassination. Josh, if you’re really serious about making things right you’ll start by making TRUST your #1 company commitment. Everything will flow from there…either back up to your user’s good graces or straight down to the latest corporate funeral. We’ll all be watching.

I truly am watching. I want the folks like Josh and Dave to get it and succeed. But now it’s up to them to learn from their mistakes. Perhaps it means they need to assemble a user group to help them vet ideas based on whether they build or erode trust. It’s not too late, but there’s definite work to be done if Shelfari hopes to avoid digging its own grave.

Now that I’m out of the non-profit world and in the corporate world, I’m more conscious of public perception of companies. In particular, the perceptions of the bloggerati who can sometimes be unforgiving in their attitudes. As a customer, I will openly admit that I’ve grown less patient with companies over the years. If I feel screwed over just one time, that’s the end of that “relationship”. Is this what we’ve come to expect? Companies need to meet our own sense of perfection or else?

And then we wonder why our own work is a less-than-fantastic experience. It’s actually a vicious cycle. The customer demands their own personally perfect interaction which puts pressure on the company to respond. Then, those of us inside the company or non-profit have to work harder than ever to meet these ever-escalating customer expectations. All of this may indeed explain the long hours, intense competitive pressure, and lack of fulfillment that makes our work a joyless pursuit.

Want to change this dynamic? Good…it’s simple (I’ll leave whether it’s easy up to you).

First, stop being an overly demanding and unfair customer. Since when has the one strike you’re out rule applied in baseball or one foul you’re out in basketball? Never. So, if a company screws up don’t give up on them. Same thing applies to a restaurant, a shop, an online service. Talk to someone who can make things happen and let them know that you’ve been disappointed and then…

Second, start being a coaching customer. If that company screws up, let them know what they did and how they can make it better. If your restaurant server’s service isn’t up to your expectations, let them know…don’t just tell the manager after the meal is over.

Third, and finally, make each transaction about more than just money. Within that financial trade is the opportunity for greater value. Be the kind of customer you want to work with in your own work. Be respectful and reasonable and caring. Remember that you get what you give.

I know some companies aren’t going to get this. They may shrug off your attempts at being a good customer, but I’d argue that these companies are actually few in number. Trust me…within each company there is at least one person who gives a damn as to the organization succeeds or fails. Find them and help them. And in the process, you might just be coaching your next customer.

Thom Singer over at Some Assembly Required wrote a thoughtful post on how to revive a professional relationship that’s gone sour. He writes:

Sometimes it is easy when you have a large circle of friends and professional contacts to place the blame on the other person. Obviously the issue cannot be you, as there are many examples of folks who adore you….so the problem must rest with the other person. I disagree, as to have a positive relationship takes the effort of both people. Besides, taking responsibility to fix a bad connection is not the same as admitting guilt. Instead it shows you really care about your networking and are willing to give folks a second chance.

What I really like is the part where he says, “…taking responsibility to fix a bad connection is not the same as admitting guilt.” I think this is where we get hung up so many times. We hold on to the notion that in order to salvage a relationship, we always need to have an intense dialogue where we confess our past sins and then hope the other party does the same. In some cases, this course of action is unavoidable but I’d argue that its only for the most exceptional cases where feelings have been deeply hurt. For most of our relationships – particularly professional relationships – asking for a clean slate offers some strong advantages. Here’s how Thom cleans the slate:

I take a moment to let them know where I was disappointed in the past, but also own the fact that I cannot really know their situation, and that I do not need an explanation or apology, but instead I would just like to start over.

The greatest advantage of this path is that we’re way more likely to engage in this type of dialogue than we are if we choose to go into full confessional mode whenever a conflict arises in a relationship. Not only is the latter time consuming, it’s painful…and most of us want to avoid painful interpersonal encounters.

Update 11.10.07: Sanity prevails…the Vikings decide that a funeral for a dead grandmother is actually more important than a football game (link via ESPN)

Most employers actually care about their employees when a loved one dies…which is why the owner of the Minnesota Vikings should immediately pull his head from his posterior and see the stupidity of his ways. (link via SportingNews.com)

I heard a great story the other day which emphasizes how important our actions are…even when we think we’re not actually doing anything important. It involves the infamous Ice Bowl football game between the Dallas Cowboys and Green Bay Packers for the 1967 NFL Championship.

This games isn’t referred to as “the Ice Bowl” for nothing. It was played at Lambeau Field in Green Bay, Wisconsin in December. The gametime temperature was -13F degrees (-25C) with a windchill driving the temperature down to -48F degrees (-44C) making it the coldest NFL game on record. It was so cold that referees couldn’t use their whistles because they froze to their lips. To this day, some players still say they suffer from the effects of frostbite. It wasn’t just cold, it was bone-numbingly frigid. So, you can forgive some players for doing all they could to try and stay warm.

In the end, Green Bay won in dramatic fashion as Bart Starr scored the winning touchdown with 16 seconds left. One key to their win came from the actions of a Dallas player, Bob Hayes, who was a wide receiver and considered one of the fastest men alive. Turns out his hands were cold (remember this is before players started wearing gloves) so when a run play was called, he shoved his hands in his pockets before the snap. When he did this, he communicated that he wasn’t going out for a pass and unwittingly tipped the Green Bay defense to play the run.

What’s interesting about this story is that it offers an example of how we influence the action around us, even when we’re not actually a part of the action itself. Everything is connected and we’re never truly out of the play…no matter if we think we don’t have a role in the action.

Someone very close and dear to me is experiencing a challenge that’s rather painful and isn’t unique to just her career. She has approached a crisis moment in her professional path where she no longer wants to continue practicing what she has a Bachelor’s and Master’s degree in. Some folks may find this a liberating feeling. However, she’s not just feeling scared, she’s also experiencing feelings of guilt, confusion, and disappointment. In essence, she’s saying goodbye to ten plus years of studying, training, and working. But her truth is that she no longer has the passion for that career and now feels a calling to explore new professional territory. Maybe this sounds familiar to you. If so, maybe you’ve also struggled with these feelings:

A feeling that your degree(s) are worthless now.
Let’s turn this around and focus less on what’s written on the diploma and what the diploma represents. The learning undoubtedly changed you in both significant and subtle ways. Take me for example…I studied history as an undergrad and though I don’t practice it as a professional it still has had a dramatic impact on how I approach life. I think about problems differently, taking a more holistic viewpoint in order to see all of the interconnections and possibilities. Take some time to reflect on how you’ve changed because of your past experience. Then celebrate how it’s made you the unique person that you are.

A feeling that you’ve wasted (or are throwing away) a part of your life.
Again, let’s turn this around. Consider the full experience of this chapter in your life: the people met, friendships made, knowledge gained, and so on. We can get hung up on the very old-school notion of a linear career path which not only limits our career choices, but limits who we are. Think of life and career as an anthology. The stories contained in an anthology have a loose theme, but can be different in their plot. At this stage of your life, you’re just adding the next story.

A feeling that you’re disappointing people or not meeting their expectations.
This may be true. But you have to ask yourself…are you living for yourself or someone else? Are you living to your own unique purpose or someone else’s idea of what that purpose is? I know these are not easy questions to answer. However, something else to reflect on is whether this feeling is based on your own assumption that you’re disappointing others, or in fact, based on reality. Have you taken the courageous act of talking to these important people in your life – parents, partner, friends – about your decision? Many times, we project a feeling of disappointment onto other people when its being felt from within.

A feeling that no one will understand your decision.
This is another often imagined feeling that springs from a fear of being rejected. We think that if the important people in our life are disappointed in us, they’ll shun us or not love us. That’s a fear that’s hard to shake. Yet again, we have to ask ourselves if that’s an assumption we’re projecting out onto others or whether it’s based on reality. More often than not, the people that love us will support us – even if they don’t immediately understand why we’re choosing to go in a different professional direction.

An overwhelming feeling of anxiety about what’s next.
Some of you may have at least some idea of where you want to go next. Some of you may have no clue where to go…you just know you don’t want to go back to where you were. Either way, you likely know more than you think about the next story in your career. You just need some help. So where can you find help? Contact me or consider any of the talented and passionate folks over CareerHub. We all have a wealth of experience to share.

This has been cross-posted at CareerHub.

Either I’m getting older or it’s just part of my natural makeup…I truly enjoy an afternoon nap. And there are days when it’s more than a want, it’s a need. I need the benefits of shutting down for a few minutes. I think better, I’m able to focus more, and my general disposition improves significantly.

I’ve been playing with a program called Pzizz for a few months to see if it helps improve my napping. Happily, I can say that it’s well worth the download and even the cost of the bundles. Here’s what I like:

• I’m always in danger of overnapping which can be just as bad as not napping at all. For most of us, if we start to sleep too long, we actually start the whole sleep cycle. And when we wake up, we get sleep inertia. We feel groggy. not mentally sharp, and probably a little irritable. The Pzizz napping module defaults to 20 minutes and you can customize this if you want, though most sleep experts suggest you shouldn’t go for more than 30 minutes.
• When I nap, I like to have ambiance music. Pzizz produces soothing sleeping sounds like ocean waves. It also includes guided-relaxation through NLP. With Pzizz, you can customize how much of the voice you want to hear.
• You can download any number of Pzizz naps to an iPod or other mp3 player. This feature has been a gift for flights because I have trouble sleeping on planes.
• Free upgrades for life. It’ll be interesting to see if this sticks but this is quite a deal. For instance, the most recent version update (2.3) reduced the amount of time it takes to create nap from what seemed forever (maybe 3-4 minutes) down to around 30 seconds.

This is primarily a review of the napping module. They do have a sleep module that’s worth checking out. I don’t use it because Caroline isn’t a big fan of music or sounds as she sleeps. Maybe I’ll convince her to try it out with me soon.

Give it a try and see what you think. If it works for you (or even if it doesn’t), start a dialogue here. I’d love to know about your experience.

Link: Pzizz

Most organizations are chronically deficient at learning and it’s easy to see why. Learning takes time, patience, and healthy dose of curiosity – all qualities that are in short supply at probably 95% of all companies and non-profit institutions. When there is learning, it’s cloaked with best intentions in workshops and other professional development events. Don’t get me wrong…these ought to be a part of one’s plan to build a learning organization, but they are simply not enough. Without building the capacity to learn into an organization’s DNA, these events will barely penetrate the surface of how your people approach their work. What to do if you’re a manager or charged with leading your organization’s learning operations?

One action is to start a learning circle. Google learning circle and you’ll get a slew of resources. However, drill down a little further and you’ll find there are relatively few that address learning circles within an organization…particularly a for-profit company. Don’t let that stop you, though. If you recognize the importance of developing a learning culture in your workplace, here’s a framework to experiment with:

Rules? We Don’t Need No Stinking Rules!
Well, that’s only partly true. There should be no hard rules to the circle. It should be free to evolve as the needs of the group evolve. However, don’t take the “no rules” mantra as an invitation to anarchy. A successful circle needs a basic structure that provides a purpose for the group to exist.

Pack a Problem and a Yippee!
Each person in the circle must be prepared to bring two items to each meeting. The first is a problem. Even better than a problem is a mistake, but this takes some comfort with the group so don’t expect this at the outset. The second item is a Yippee!, which is an example of something that went well. It’s important that learning be a balanced process where both good and bad are reviewed and then celebrated.

Play 20 Questions.
Most people will want to instantly solve problems often without bothering to dig deeper into the actual issues behind the problems. Don’t let the natural tendency to problem-solve get in the way of the actual learning. Instead, put a question threshold into place. Insist that no less than 20 questions get asked before a statement can be made. This will spark curiosity and instill an investigative mindset that – done consistently – will begin to form a habit.

Spread the Learning Love.
Encourage the group to constantly share their learning outside the circle. Give them the tools and resources to create a wiki and a blog. By further emphasizing the importance of knowledge sharing to the whole organization, the circle will be more likely to build the discipline for recording what it knows (which can be so easily forgotten) and disseminating it to a broader audience of colleagues.

Cloning for Success.
While there may be a temptation to immediately initiate several circles throughout your organization, I’d encourage you to start small. Start with one group of four to five individuals and allow it to evolve for a few months. Then when the time is right, charge each pilot group member with starting another learning group with new individuals. This replicating strategy ensures that subsequent groups have a firm understanding of the circle’s purpose and get a jumpstart on the process.

If you’ve previously created learning circles in an organization, I’d love to hear about your experience. Any additional tips or advice to share?