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An Intentional New Year

Photo by Deniz Altindas on Unsplash

Through the last couple of weeks of December, I experienced an odd (but I can’t imagine unique) sensation. As the days slipped forward toward the inevitable new calendar year, I sensed the uneasy presence of dueling desires.

On one side, I felt a desire to cling onto 2017, which seemed all-too-aware of the awkward and unsettled mess it created and was eager to make an exit. But I still wanted it to remain, not with the expectation that it would clean up after itself, but just so I could process all that had happened during the preceding 12 months. I wasn’t ready to move on.

And on the other side, I felt a palpable anticipation for a new year so I could move on from what was surely a historical period of confusion, angst, and madness. Kind of like sitting through one of those bizarre post-modern theater productions where you’re not quite sure if you just witnessed genius or trash, but are nevertheless damn glad it’s over.

And yet, that’s the thing about time. It blithely moves on with its business whether you and I are ready or not. It’s now January 2018 and so, well, here we are.

We could roll over and passively resign ourselves to time’s dispassionate and unyielding passage. But I’m not keen on aimlessly drifting through this life and I don’t think you are either. It is from this point that I’m working to renew my understanding of the true power that comes from mindfulness. That when we are intentional in how we think and act, we no longer wrestle with time. Instead, we become present with it.

Now if you know me, you know that mindfulness is not exactly my natural state. I’m perfectionistic, cantankerous, and impatient. I also suffer from clinical depression and anxiety. Therefore, my daily walk in intentional living has its fair share of obstacles. Perhaps you can relate, and if so, know that you’re definitely not alone. And don’t give up. If you have intentions for 2018, live toward them.

My intentions this year include writing the book that has long sat unwritten in my head. That intention scares the hell out of me, but intentional living requires a certain amount of grit and courage.

So ready or not…let’s live with intention and make shit happen.

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