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Monday Pickup: Touchstones And My BC5

by on December 8, 2008 in Creative

Today, I’m feeling a little harried, anxious, and irritable. Yeah, yeah…it’s Monday you say. Well I do my damnedest to not fall into the TGIF and Manic Monday modes but I guess its unavoidable at times.

Which is why I learned a while ago that its important to always have touchstones to get me out of these spots. One of these is a tactile object that I can hold in my hand. It’s the red stone at the bottom right of the picture. I call it my heartstone (hopefully, you can see why). There’s something calming about having its weight in the palm of my hand.

The second touchstone is a set of mental reminders that help me to refocus. I call them my BC5:

Be Centered – breathe deeply
Be Curious – ask questions
Be Creative – pursue new ideas
Be Courageous – take risks
Be Connected – focus on relationships

Do you have any touchstones that help you reconnect with who you truly are when you find yourself being pestered by the flying monkeys of life?

If You’ve Never Failed You’ve Never Lived

by on May 17, 2008 in Creative

This YouTube clip is making the rounds through Twitter and it’s just too darn good not to share here. It’s also related to Vicky’s first post at the new Remarkable Parents blog.

“If you’ve never failed…you’ve never lived.” We can stew about our failures or we can celebrate them. Which one do you think is going to help us create the kind of life we dream about?

Feedback: Karaoke With Tube Socks?

by on April 29, 2008 in Creative

Steve Roesler published a great post (then again, has he ever written a bad post?) titled Talent: Accurate Self-Awareness or Karaoke Feedback?. The main focus is feedback and he offers suggestions on how to give it as well as how to receive it.

For me, I find the hardest thing to remember about feedback is that it is a gift. Yes, sometimes that gift is like receiving tube socks for Christmas but every so often I get the kind of feedback that is right up there with receiving a first edition signed copy of Frank Herbert’s Dune. Feedback is learning and I have to remind my ego that learning is good if I want to grow (it helps to talk to my ego like it’s a five year old).

It also helps to frame the experience of receiving feedback in this way. Steve notes:

And remember: Feedback is more indicative of the person giving it to you than of you yourself. It tells you what’s important to them, reflects underlying values and expectations, and reveals ‘how you measure up’ in their eyes.

It’s a terrific post and made even more so by the addition of Wally Bock’s comment where he tells the story of how his father, a Lutheran pastor, asked for and received feedback from his family after each service and sermon. His experience offers additional elements that are vital in making feedback the powerful learning tool that it can be.

How are you practicing good feedback to those around you?
Are you asking for candid feedback and taking notes?

Standing At The Gates Of Janus

by on December 31, 2007 in Creative

I really try not to do this…yet, it’s inevitable, isn’t it? I try to convince myself that the calendar is just an artificial construct and that I can do this exercise at any point in time. I don’t need the little clock sitting at the bottom left on my computer’s taskbar to read 12/31 in order to prod me toward a heightened state of reflection. I don’t want to feel a slave to the chaps who conjured up our Gregorian calendar. But then…who am I kidding? This time of year just cries out for a rearview/frontview perspective. So here I pay my debt to Janus and seek his help to bring the current state of Bailey WorkPlay into focus.

Defining Influences of 2007
Losing two grandfathers. While intensely personal, both losses have impacted my professional focus in different ways. Papop Starr’s life was one of art, charity, love, family…I could really go on. He will live forever through his legacy and its an inspiration that I hold dear. Grandpa Bailey’s life was one of hard work, education, faith, family…again I could go on. His gift to me is a reminder that this life is a gift and the time we have here on this earth is precious. It’s not to be forsaken or taken for granted. In their death, I find my love for life.

Working life in the corporate world. Yep, it’s still quite an influence. This was my first full year playing in the laboratory of the corporate world. It’s different from the nonprofit world and yet not that different at all. The same organizational, communication, leadership, and management challenges exist regardless of the tax status. This year provided all the proof I need that there’s a place for my work with Bailey WorkPlay. Look for more details on new services in the coming weeks.

Helping my wife through a career crisis. Watching someone you dearly love go through a career crisis truly defines your own sense of what work can be (and what it should never be). There’s nothing quite so miserable as feeling trapped in a hopeless spot that just isn’t going to get better no matter how hard you try. Her experience is a cautionary tale about the need to follow your intuition and truly listen to your inner voice. It also clarified my passion for helping folks create work they love and helping organizations build strong cultures that emphasize humanity while still making a profit.

Deciding to crank things up professionally. Each of these items (and a smattering of other minor influences) have provided me with the appropriate degree of fuel needed to move from the sidelines back into the big game. I’ve been gunshy about putting myself out there. I keep asking what if I fall on my ass? But you know what…that’s just crap that I tell myself to keep me safe. Yeah, safe and unfulfilled. Now it’s time to risk again, fall on my ass if necessary, but pick myself up and dust myself off. Simple, but not easy. But then again, what’s really worth doing that’s easy? The growth is in the challenges.

Aspirations for 2008
Cranking things up means envisioning some really bold aspirations for this new year. And by putting them out here in the open for all to see, I’m making a commitment to each of them.

I will be putting greater distinctions on Bailey WorkPlay and The Alchemy of Soulful Work. Up to now it’s been somewhat confusing. Is Bailey WorkPlay the name of the blog? What exactly is The Alchemy of Soulful Work, then? It’s okay…I’ve been confused, too. Early in 2008, you’ll start to see a better delineation between the two concepts. Bailey WorkPlay is the name of my service organization focused on coaching, consulting, and facilitation. I’ll be working with individuals who are unfulfilled with their J-O-B and want to align their purpose with their work. I’ll also be working with organizations – primarily nonprofits and small businesses – who are tired of struggling with stagnant work cultures and want to improve their people systems. The Alchemy of Soulful Work is the title of my blog and online laboratory for ideas, reflections, and practical advice.

I will accelerate the growth of the Alchemy of Soulful Work. I will take my current subscriber base (somewhere around 100 folks) and increase it to 1000 subscribers by the end of 2008. And because I believe that comments are absolutely important to creating a healthy blog community, the Alchemy of Soulful Work will have 1000 comments by the end of the year, too. As soon as I find some good widgets to track these metrics, I’ll insert them on this site so everyone can track progress and participate in the success.

Oh, and by the way…I finally registered www.alchemyofsoulfulwork.com. So, there are two ways to get to Bailey WorkPlay and Alchemy of Soulful Work.

I will be far more visible. When I think about visibility, I think about activities in addition to blogging and my online site. So, what better way to get visible than to speak and write? This year, I will secure at least two speaking gigs and publish an article for a print magazine or newspaper. I will also continue to contribute to Career Hub and guest blog at other spots.

I will step further outside my front door. I plan to travel more outside the city limits of Austin, TX. It’s been easy to keep close to home but now it’s time to venture beyond my borders again. I have several reasons to visit areas in the US Northeast, Washington DC, Chicago IL, Atlanta GA, and Southern California. Hopefully, this will give me a chance to meet more of you for the first time or have a chance to see you again. While there’s much that can be shared through email, phone, and blogging, there’s even more that can be gained by sitting with a cup of coffee and chatting.

I will rededicate myself to reading. I read surprisingly few books in 2007 and I think this was one reason why my blogging was a little less dynamic this past year (or at least it’s what my vocal internal critic points out to me). I aim to read at least 15 books this year, which for a slow reader like me is quite a bit. I’ll continue to keep up with my blogreading through Google Reader and maintain my subscription to Harvard Business Review.

Whew! Looks like I’m going to have a busy, productive, and fulfilling 2008. What about you? Even if you don’t get wrapped up in the whole New Year’s resolution game, I hope you take a few moments to reflect on what this past year has meant to you. What events influenced who you are right now? And what do you aspire to be in this next year?

My Think Different Challenge…Or Confessions Of A Perfectionist

by on December 18, 2007 in Creative

I’ve been tagged for the Think Differently Challenge meme by Jamie Notter and it’s one that I’ve been giving some of my best mental energy. It’s a good challenge. Like Jamie, I fully believe that “if you do what you always did, you’ll get what you always got.” So if you’re intent on learning and evolving, you have to be prepared to see things in new ways.

First, I have to be honest…it took me a while to uncover a topic worthy enough for this particular challenge. A no-brainer might have been patience (such as having patience with my fellow motorists no matter how crazy their driving or having patience with people doing idiotic things like taking up two parking spaces…hmmm…it appears I have some vehicular issues to resolve, huh?). But my issues around patience lack flair and imagination. No…if I’m going for a challenge, let’s make it something interesting, something provocative, something that’s going to push me in a new direction.

So what is my Think Different Challenge to myself? I’m challenging myself to be less of a perfectionist. Would you like to know how much of a perfectionist I am? I started this particular post three weeks ago and haven’t been able to publish it because I wanted it to be absolutely perfect. Quite honestly, this is one of my major hang-ups when it comes to blogging and creating content for the Alchemy of Soulful Work. I have around two dozen posts in various states of completeness, but they’re still stuck in the draft folder awaiting their own state of perfection.

And it’s not just blogging…other areas of my life tend to suffer from an ingrained desire for achieving perfection. Even as a self-proclaimed recovering perfectionist, I continue to set an incredibly high bar for myself in my work, as well as a father and husband. Regardless of how far I’ve come, I still have plenty of work to do…so here’s my plan:

Questions, questions, questions…for me, thinking differently starts with asking questions. Here are a few that I can stash in my back pocket:

  • Is the extra attention and detail I’m putting into this ultimately worth it?
  • What am I giving up in order to keep doing this?
  • Am I willing to forgive myself if I screw up?
  • Am I willing to let go of the need to always be the “star student”?
  • What am I trying to avoid by pursuing perfection?

So here’s my post which is not – nor will it ever be – perfect. For perfectionists, this is rather like stripping down to our underwear and running down the street. But then again, nothing I do is ever perfect so donning only my skivvies on a daily basis shouldn’t be anything new, right?

Per the rules of the game, I now get to see if five others are willing to play along. You probably know the rules – they’re similar to most other memes. In this case, write a new blog post in which you “think different.” State that the post is a part of the Think Different Challenge and include a link and/ or trackback to this post so that readers know the rules of the challenge (see Jamie’s post for more info).

Annette Clancy at Interactions – Creative Strategies for Business

Arnie Herz at Legal Sanity

Debbie Call at Spirit in Gear

Patti Digh at 37 Days

Tammy Lenski at Strategic Conversations

And if I didn’t tag you here and want to play along – maybe as a part of an upcoming New Year reflection – jump on in.