Over the past couple of months, I had the privilege to be a part of something magical. It all started when a great fella named Dave Rothacker had a hair-brained idea: wouldn’t it be neat if a group of people took a book which had a lot of shared meaning – each signing it with something nice – and sent it back to the author? Dave, being the hardboiled optimist that he is, dismissed the difficulties of coordinating such a feat. He didn’t care that the book would need to touch over thirty people dispersed throughout North America and Europe. He also stuck out his tongue at the very thought of trying to do this during the busiest time of year for mailing services – the Christmas/end of December holidays. And yet, it all worked better than anyone could have dreamed.

Those of us who make up Rosa Say’s Ho’ohana Community got a chance to let Rosa know how much she means to each of us. All of us have read her book, Managing with Aloha, and have been inspired to bring more of ourselves to our work. What started with Dave’s humble, yet powerful, idea snowballed into a project of love that involved each person giving something of themselves. Folks in the community coordinated personal handoffs with each other, they took pictures of themselves and the book, they wrote notes in the margins detailing how a particular part of the book made an impact on them.

It brings a smile to my face just imagining (and reading a recent email to the Community) how Rosa feels. All of us who write want to know on some level just how much of an impact their words have on others. In the end, what turned out to be just a book was transformed into a living testament of how one person has made a difference in the world.

All of this is a gracious and beautiful reminder that the best gifts are those given with simple intentions. Creating the gift may not always be easy, but when offered with true love from the brightest light of the soul, the gift assumes a power that is truly magical. And it encourages greater acts of light and love in other ways and in other places. Those of us in the Ho’ohana Community now ask, "What else can we do now?"

Cheers, Rosa. Your magic begets even more magic by those who are blessed to know you.

Think making a huge difference in someone’s life takes a herculean effort or a lot of time? Just ask Scott Hodge who not only rediscovered the power of a buck, but the power of simple generosity.

What I love about his later reflection is how this isn’t only a lesson for him, but for his kids. Scott writes:

This is going to be Elise’s bedtime
story tonight. Why?  Because I want her to be this kind of person. I
want her to understand the value in helping people – even at her own
expense. It’s easy to open a door for someone. It’s easy to help
someone carry something heavy. But it’s not always easy pulling out
the $5 dollar bill.

Think the world’s going to hell in a handbasket? Nah, that’s just overrated, cynical chatter. The chance to experience and return small kindnesses is all around us.

I guess its a natural part of the creative process to be in the fog every once in a while. Or perhaps its just that I live in a frenetic city, read way too much for my own good, think about things far too deeply, and of course, struggle with some perfectionism tendencies.

Right now, I feel like my head is swimming in ideas. It’s also a bit overloaded with issues from my paying work – though these mainly integrate with my ideas on work and play.

And since I’m blessed to be a part of a great community of readers and fellow bloggers, I have some questions. Feel free to post comments below or trackback a blog post here.

When you read, how do you distill the main points and "aha moments" of different books together? I’m trying to mindmap each book, but I can’t figure out how to integrate the different maps. Maybe one mindmap including all books (though this is going to get unwieldy after several books)?

When you feel overwhelmed by too many thoughts and ideas, how do you deal with getting clarity? Do you relax? Do you have some kind of creative process? Do you do something else entirely?

I’m eagerly anticipating the responses.

Well, at least for my own organization. In my association experience, it tends to depend on your budget cycle. And there lies one of the great problems with the whole performance review: money and performance are tightly linked. So, what’s wrong with that? Everything.

I could go on and on about this, but greater and more experienced minds have already offered some brilliant writings on this issue…

Lisa Haneberg at Management Craft has long made some compelling cases against the use of reviews:
Scrap Performance Appraisals – Parts  1  2  3  4  5
And another post for good measure…

More recently, Don Blohowiak at Leadership Now has a chilling post on how some companies game the whole 360 evaluation process.

Both Lisa’s and Don’s posts offer more links and opportunities to tumble down the blogosphere rabbit hole.

Currently, I’m working to overhaul how my organization thinks about evaluations. From dialogues I’ve had with the CEO and the staff,  I think one central question lies with the actual purpose of a performance evaluation. Like so much in the workplace that mirrors our elementary school classroom beginnings, we need a report card. We want to see if we got that much sought after ‘A’ in math or teamwork. We need the strokes from our teacher/supervisor. We want to tack it to the fridge at home. We need someone else telling us we should be proud of the work that we’re doing.

Okay, so what happens when we take responsibility for our own development? Instead of complying with what the organization unilaterally says we should be valuing about our work, let’s try building the performance agreement together. Let’s develop a process that builds on the best of the organization and the employee. Let’s make this a frequent event (at least once every three months) that generates excitement rather than devolves into groans of apathy and frustration.

And to a certain Fortune 500 executive, if you think your employees are just there for the money and they don’t want to develop their skills and make something of their life, perhaps this is a good time to shut up and start listening.

Here’s a little fact about me: I don’t like trade shows. From the visitor side, they make me uncomfortable. I’m always afraid to make eye contact with an exhibitor for fear that I’m going to get the full-on sales blitz. And usually it’s for a service or product that I really don’t need. Ever try to get away from these guys or gals (yes, the sales blitz technique is equal opportunity in its usage)? Nothing less than having a heart attack will allow you to elude their grasp.

From the exhibitor side, I’m not a big fan of them, either. There’s a certain quality of salesmanship that I find hard to grasp…there’s also a certain quality of will that doesn’t seem entirely authentic for me. And I guess it all comes down to my preference for depth. Can you develop a deep connection with a potential member, customer, or client in the span of 5-7 minutes (that’s the average amount of time you get to speak to one person at a trade booth)? Probably not, which is why so much leg work is required after the show to seal the deal. The practice of trade show exhibiting assumes that you already KNOW the needs and desires of your custo/member – it’s just a matter of talking to them until they fully know it.

Of course, there are alternatives. It starts by doing this: take all the assumptions you have about your custo/member – what they want, how they want it, what they expect from your products and services – and get rid of them. Write them down and burn them in your wastebasket. Give them the ceremonial flush down the toilet. The important point is to realize you may not know anything real about the folks with which you want to connect.

Now, take all the money that you would spend on your trade booth and put it toward the conference registration (you might even find this is less expensive). Don’t exhibit; instead, be a student. Go to the sessions and honestly listen to what the presenters have to say, attend the workshops and openly participate in the dialogues. In between, strike up real conversations with fellow attendees and figure out what’s going on in their lives and their work. Of course, be prepared with some brochures and swap business cards. But remember, the point isn’t to deluge the other person with info about your product or service (if that’s what you’re really after, be truthful about it and just get yourself a trade booth). The point is to emerse yourself in the rich world of your custo/member. What you give up in terms of having a long list of prospects (many of which may never be interested in you anyway), you gain in having a deep understanding of the individuals who comprise your market and how you can make their lives better. Trust me, they’ll love you for it.

For the next couple of days, I’m up in New England for another conference. The event is being held in upstate Massachusetts, near the New Hampshire border, so I had a good excuse to bypass Boston and Logan Airport.

Yesterday afternoon, I flew into Manchester, NH and rented a car to drive down to Nashua where I’m spending the night. I had my Google-mapped trajectory all laid out, but shortly after leaving the rental car lot I must have made a wrong turn somewhere. This became clear when the two lane road started winding through some truly beautiful country beside the Merrimack River.

There are some folks who would freak out if they discovered they were lost in a strange place. I’ve never felt that way. Honestly, I’ve been known to seek out occasions to get lost and see if I can find my way out (oh, and by the way, I’m a typical guy when it comes to asking for directions – I don’t). This instance was no different. While there were no distinguishable road signs cluing me in on where I was going, I knew I was heading south toward Nashua.

Along the way, I started to ponder what lost really is. Sometimes we talk about what it is to be lost, but is it actually a state of being? Or rather, is it a state of mind?  We may not always know where we are and we may not always know exactly where we’re going. And yet, whether we determine that we’re lost is in our own minds. It just might be that where we are and where we’re going will lead us to where we need to go. It’s opening ourselves up to the universe and a greater power to guide us. And along the way, we might see some really neat scenery or discover a cool little roadside vegetable stand. As J.R.R. Tolkien writes, "Not all those who wander are lost."

Consider chucking the maps and the GPS once in a while. Put away those books written by the various gurus (or at least open yourself to the possibility that, in the words of fellow blogger/thinker Jodee Bock, you already know this stuff). Develop a more intimate relationship with your own intuition and instincts. It just might be that you know exactly where you are and the place you’re heading…if only we’ll ask ourselves for direction.

This past week marked the passing of Rosa Parks, an individual who knew and embodied courage. I’ve been reflecting on what lessons Rosa left for us and how we’ve gotten off-course in our struggle for social and economic justice. I’ve also been considering the work of all who fight for our civil rights and the fact that I’ve given too much of this work to others. Left to the hands of just a few champions, working for true civil rights for all individuals is a fight and a burden. However, if each of us is dedicated to the spirit of equality and love, it ceases to be a struggle. Instead, it becomes a gift that we give to others and ourselves.

We’re nowhere close to approaching this ideal. And the small, but vocally cynical gremlin sitting on my shoulder shouts that it’s just naive, utopian thinking. That gremlin is very persuasive and I’ve believed him for a little too long. I’m realizing that he’s doing his best to keep me safe and comfortable and small like him. But this is all crap to keep me from the difficult and potentially hazardous work of initiating my own efforts to create a soulfully-connected world around me.

So, I’ve sought out spiritual mentors to serve as a counter-balance to my cynicism. Happily, I’ve found inspiration from Frances Moore Lappé. This week, she implores us to take up Rosa’s example and re-embrace our sense of humanity:

So in this historical epoch I believe we must take our cue from Rosa Parks: Our survival depends on not going along, not cooperating with assumptions that violate our deepest sensibilities. And not going along means generating conflict, or at least surfacing it.

The how-to’s of generating and surfacing conflict creatively, I realized, must become just as exalted a skill-set as is creatively resolving conflict. Rosa Parks didn’t on impulse decide one day to say “no.” She’d been training in this art for some time.

At a recent conference hosted by my association, I was blessed to meet Frances Moore Lappé who was the keynote speaker. Her first
gift to us was Diet for a Small Planet in 1971…her most recent gift
is Democracy’s Edge. To be honest, I had never heard of her up to a
couple of months ago and I had no idea of the work she has done in her
life. Yet, the experience of listening to her on stage and afterward in
a more informal setting was deeply stirring. She has such an authentic
and genuine soul; I hope that I am able to meet her again. Of the many things that Frances left with me, perhaps the most significant was the power that each of us has as a singular being to create change in the world. More on this in a later post…

As I reflect on the few posts I’ve written in the month of October, I believe I’ve come to some understanding of why I’ve struggled to write more…I’ve lost my way. What exactly does that mean? Well, for starters, I haven’t been true to the original purpose of this blog. I never wanted for this to be just a garden-variety forum for talking about workplace, career, and leadership issues.

Instead, I intended to create a sacred space here to authentically discuss and generate provocative dialogue on livelihood. I desired to not only elaborate on the concept of soulful work, but challenge you and myself to practice it. I craved the community that can only come through an open revealing of myself and my dream that each person know the gift of meaningful work.

A rather lofty vision? You bet. Scary as hell? Oh yeah. It’s a journey that will mean going directly against some very ingrained social, economic, cultural norms. It will mean making changes within myself. It might just mean pissing some folks off along the way (but trust me, it will come from a place of love). And yet, I grow more and more confident in the knowledge that this journey, this path is why I am here. It’s the core of my own purpose in this world. Where the path ultimately leads, I’m not certain. But then, isn’t this how all great odysseys are?

Ever have a dream where you realize it was a dream? It’s called lucidity. Simplified, its when you become aware that all the rules that govern the dream’s reality don’t actually exist. Kind of like Neo exploring the Matrix. It’s a rich experience where you can do amazing, often superhuman things. Steve Pavlina reminded me of the power of lucidity earlier this year (I first came across this concept as an eleven year old when I picked up a copy of Omni magazine). While my lucid moments tend to be brief, they always elicit a "Wow, this is cool!" feeling. When I wake up, I always wonder why I can’t have more dreaming experiences like this. This past week, I had an actual experience at work that I think may explain why lucidity in dreaming and wide-awake living is so hard to achieve.

I was in a meeting with my team when I was asked a question where I was almost ready to give a pat, well-rehearsed response. The kind of response that would be expected of someone who only knew a little about how to actually solve the problem. The kind of response where the boundaries were dictated by the governing "rules" of management. Yet, at that time, I awoke to a lucid moment where I realized that these so-called rules don’t actually exist and that I was free to create something new.

So, instead of practicing a superpower like flying or shooting flames from my hands, I practiced the real-life superpower of authenticity. I was free to admit my own level of understanding, seek new answers, and create new questions. I was able to be human. Where did this come from? It all seemed to surface from my own thoughts and the realization that I could challenge my notion of reality.

In his challenge for us to Take the Red Pill, Steve artfully writes:

I can’t prove to you that you’re in a thought bubble right now. But you
can prove it to yourself if you have enough curiosity to make the
attempt. You have to decide to swallow the red pill. The only way to
prove you’re in a thought bubble is to consciously change your thoughts
in such a way that you contradict at least one of the foundational
beliefs that form the bubble. This begins with opening your mind to the
possibility that your thoughts are shaping your reality. You think your
thoughts are actually based on some reality “out there,” but they’re
really creating your reality. If you believe in an objective external
reality, then that will be true for you. But are you aware that you
don’t have to subscribe to this belief? And that doing so unnecessarily
limits your experience of life?

Moments of lucidity can happen to us all the time. As Steve suggests, we have the power to recreate our reality and shape our lives in ways formerly thought impossible. The challenge is to simply wake up.

Ah, football season approaches so you’ll likely see a lot of metaphors popping up on this blog and her sister blogs. By the way…Go Steelers. Okay, now I’m better.

It’s not untypical for players to get all enthusiastic during practice and keep the aggression of the play going after the whistle blows. There may be pushing and even some punches exchanged. Hey, football is an aggressive sport. Shortly, the coach will intervene and tell the players to “save it for gameday.”

Let’s be honest, business can be an aggressive sport, too. Particularly when you have two heavyweights going at it like Microsoft and Google. The problem is that they don’t have a coach who tells them to save their fight for game day.

Okay, my metaphor breaks down since they clearly don’t play for the same team. Yet, they should share a singular goal: to provide the best product and service for their customer. That’s why all of this posturing and legalistic BS makes such little sense. I’d like for Microsoft to take just a little of the money they are going to spend to sue Google and put it into some OS software that is reliable and not prone to constant virus attacks.

Why is there such fear of the competition? The best players don’t hope that the other team is full of injured guys playing at levels less than their best. The best players pray that the other team is going to test them by giving them their absolute best effort. It’s how you grow. It’s the only way you know how good you really are.

Unfortunately for us customers, if our companies continue to try to weaken the opponent off the playing field, we’ll never know who is the best and who is just a pretender.