Now that I can actually post to the blog again (goodbye TypePad?), I want to write about something that I’ve been itching to produce since last Friday. Beware, a rant is brewing…

On my way to work, NPR’s Morning Edition had a brief segment called Salary Level May Not Indicate Contentment. If you go to NPR’s website, here’s the description of the piece:

Researchers say just about the time people are making the most money in their careers, they bottom out when it comes to contentment. Renee Montagne talks with Jonathan Clements, personal finance columnist for The Wall Street Journal.

Based on this, my only guess is that NPR is coming up empty when it comes to discussing meaningful career-related topics. Do we really need another long-winded report about how money doesn’t buy happiness? Making it all worse is the blathering of Jonathan Clements on how we can make our job seem better through fringe benefits like telecommuting and flextime. And listening to him talk, it makes me wonder why a guy who doesn’t seem to derive much joy from his own work has been asked to give pointers to public radio listeners. The poor fellow just perpetuates the whole notion of "work as drudgery."

Of course, it’s all masked in the idea of being busy, that ever-present status symbol of the fast and elite professional. The next time you’re at a dinner party and someone asks how you are doing, just respond that you’re doing great and have plenty of down-time in your life and watch for the reaction. I reckon that it will be somewhere in the ballpark of skeptical and amazed.

You might wonder why all of this gets me riled up. I guess its the narrow idea that if we dress up the fringes of our work and life, then we might find some contentment. The placating and safety-minded inner voice whispers that even if we stay in soulless work, at least we can do it from home or at a more convenient time. Yet, we’re only scratching at the thin veneer of what’s truly possible.

Digging deeper is much more dangerous (or at least to the rest of our society). It means tossing aside firmly held cultural norms that work is work and never to be confused with play. It means shunning the shallow tag of busy and replacing it with the elements of flow where creative ideas and passionate actions intersect. It means consciously and courageously pursue those things in life that matter. It means practicing love for ourselves and for those who come into our own unique vision for the future.

We get only one shot at this life. Live with no regrets.

Think making a huge difference in someone’s life takes a herculean effort or a lot of time? Just ask Scott Hodge who not only rediscovered the power of a buck, but the power of simple generosity.

What I love about his later reflection is how this isn’t only a lesson for him, but for his kids. Scott writes:

This is going to be Elise’s bedtime
story tonight. Why?  Because I want her to be this kind of person. I
want her to understand the value in helping people – even at her own
expense. It’s easy to open a door for someone. It’s easy to help
someone carry something heavy. But it’s not always easy pulling out
the $5 dollar bill.

Think the world’s going to hell in a handbasket? Nah, that’s just overrated, cynical chatter. The chance to experience and return small kindnesses is all around us.

Tammy Lenski wrote yesterday about her most recent experience as a volunteer for the Best Friends Animal Society and their efforts in the Hurricane Katrina area. The temporary sanctuary/triage unit/field hospital/reunification center just north of the Louisiana border in Tylertown, Mississippi has attracted volunteers throughout the country. In a battered place with far from optimal conditions, one might expect to see all kinds of conflict. She noted that none was to be found. In Tammy’s reflection for why this was, she writes:

It’s the power of feeling passionately about why we were there. The power of believing, first and foremost, that our mission was to help these animals, and understanding implicitly that having our own way or convincing someone else that we’re right or the righteousness of feeling tread upon were all less important than keeping these animals alive, helping them heal, and helping them find home again.

And later:

It’s surprisingly easy to set differences aside when we’re focused on what brings us together.

Sometimes it amazes me what petty and minor strife we allow into our relationships. We let the most foolish of things drive wedges between us and our loved ones…even our colleagues at work. We cling to our few competing differences like there’s no tomorrow and forsake the many heartful similarities that bind our hopes and dreams.

None of this is to say that I’m without my own problems on this issue. I have my own family squabbles to contend with. There are always workplace flare-ups. Yet, there’s something in Tammy’s post that has nudged me toward a deeper reflection. I find myself asking why its so much easier to get attached to our differences of opinion rather than the similarities.

Whatever the answers, I honestly believe the power and spirit lies in those common bonds that bring us together.

I’ve written before about my recovery from perfectionism. One of the related habits that I’ve been able to at least consciously notice, if not kick outright, is the urge to put something on hold until all the conditions are just right. I wouldn’t quite label the action as procrastination, but the behavior has an easy to recognize verbal structure: "when…then."

You may have heard some else say it; an employee, a boss, a spouse. Perhaps it was part of your own inner dialogue. It might have sounded something like…

"When my boss starts to listen to me, then I’ll be able to do my job."
"When I improve my presentation skills, then I’ll submit a speaking proposal."
"When I get that promotion, then I’ll be able to negotiate for more time to spend with my kids."

This kind of thinking not only plays into the obvious futility of our own desire for perfection and control, but masks an even more insidious problem which is a need to play the helpless victim. It’s an excuse to live a halfway life, one that banks on the illusions of safety and comfort. It’s the supposed promise of something better just around the corner.

Instead of believing that the answer to what we want is out there and in someone else hands, this is an invitation to seek answers from within. It’s an invitation to ask ourselves, "why not now?" It’s an invitation to live a whole life with no regrets.

My friend Kevin Holland linked to a brilliant idea and one very appropriate for today: thank your first commenter. I remember my first comment and commenter so very well. It was Curt Rosengren and it was he who made a significant impact on whether this blog would keep going. Up to that point, I had very little traffic and no comments. While I knew I had much to give voice to, I just wasn’t sure if a blog was the right forum.

I still have those his comment but its no longer viewable in TypePad (when I was using Blogger, I managed comments and trackbacks using HaloScan):

Hi Christopher. Love the blog. Any possibility of upping the frequency of posts? This blog has some great potential. Keep up the great work!

So, thanks Curt for that little nudge. It made a world of difference.

And my warmest wishes to all of you. Even if you’re not from the U.S., I hope you know gratitude, solace, and love today.

For the next couple of days, I’m up in New England for another conference. The event is being held in upstate Massachusetts, near the New Hampshire border, so I had a good excuse to bypass Boston and Logan Airport.

Yesterday afternoon, I flew into Manchester, NH and rented a car to drive down to Nashua where I’m spending the night. I had my Google-mapped trajectory all laid out, but shortly after leaving the rental car lot I must have made a wrong turn somewhere. This became clear when the two lane road started winding through some truly beautiful country beside the Merrimack River.

There are some folks who would freak out if they discovered they were lost in a strange place. I’ve never felt that way. Honestly, I’ve been known to seek out occasions to get lost and see if I can find my way out (oh, and by the way, I’m a typical guy when it comes to asking for directions – I don’t). This instance was no different. While there were no distinguishable road signs cluing me in on where I was going, I knew I was heading south toward Nashua.

Along the way, I started to ponder what lost really is. Sometimes we talk about what it is to be lost, but is it actually a state of being? Or rather, is it a state of mind?  We may not always know where we are and we may not always know exactly where we’re going. And yet, whether we determine that we’re lost is in our own minds. It just might be that where we are and where we’re going will lead us to where we need to go. It’s opening ourselves up to the universe and a greater power to guide us. And along the way, we might see some really neat scenery or discover a cool little roadside vegetable stand. As J.R.R. Tolkien writes, "Not all those who wander are lost."

Consider chucking the maps and the GPS once in a while. Put away those books written by the various gurus (or at least open yourself to the possibility that, in the words of fellow blogger/thinker Jodee Bock, you already know this stuff). Develop a more intimate relationship with your own intuition and instincts. It just might be that you know exactly where you are and the place you’re heading…if only we’ll ask ourselves for direction.

This past week marked the passing of Rosa Parks, an individual who knew and embodied courage. I’ve been reflecting on what lessons Rosa left for us and how we’ve gotten off-course in our struggle for social and economic justice. I’ve also been considering the work of all who fight for our civil rights and the fact that I’ve given too much of this work to others. Left to the hands of just a few champions, working for true civil rights for all individuals is a fight and a burden. However, if each of us is dedicated to the spirit of equality and love, it ceases to be a struggle. Instead, it becomes a gift that we give to others and ourselves.

We’re nowhere close to approaching this ideal. And the small, but vocally cynical gremlin sitting on my shoulder shouts that it’s just naive, utopian thinking. That gremlin is very persuasive and I’ve believed him for a little too long. I’m realizing that he’s doing his best to keep me safe and comfortable and small like him. But this is all crap to keep me from the difficult and potentially hazardous work of initiating my own efforts to create a soulfully-connected world around me.

So, I’ve sought out spiritual mentors to serve as a counter-balance to my cynicism. Happily, I’ve found inspiration from Frances Moore Lappé. This week, she implores us to take up Rosa’s example and re-embrace our sense of humanity:

So in this historical epoch I believe we must take our cue from Rosa Parks: Our survival depends on not going along, not cooperating with assumptions that violate our deepest sensibilities. And not going along means generating conflict, or at least surfacing it.

The how-to’s of generating and surfacing conflict creatively, I realized, must become just as exalted a skill-set as is creatively resolving conflict. Rosa Parks didn’t on impulse decide one day to say “no.” She’d been training in this art for some time.

At a recent conference hosted by my association, I was blessed to meet Frances Moore Lappé who was the keynote speaker. Her first
gift to us was Diet for a Small Planet in 1971…her most recent gift
is Democracy’s Edge. To be honest, I had never heard of her up to a
couple of months ago and I had no idea of the work she has done in her
life. Yet, the experience of listening to her on stage and afterward in
a more informal setting was deeply stirring. She has such an authentic
and genuine soul; I hope that I am able to meet her again. Of the many things that Frances left with me, perhaps the most significant was the power that each of us has as a singular being to create change in the world. More on this in a later post…

As I reflect on the few posts I’ve written in the month of October, I believe I’ve come to some understanding of why I’ve struggled to write more…I’ve lost my way. What exactly does that mean? Well, for starters, I haven’t been true to the original purpose of this blog. I never wanted for this to be just a garden-variety forum for talking about workplace, career, and leadership issues.

Instead, I intended to create a sacred space here to authentically discuss and generate provocative dialogue on livelihood. I desired to not only elaborate on the concept of soulful work, but challenge you and myself to practice it. I craved the community that can only come through an open revealing of myself and my dream that each person know the gift of meaningful work.

A rather lofty vision? You bet. Scary as hell? Oh yeah. It’s a journey that will mean going directly against some very ingrained social, economic, cultural norms. It will mean making changes within myself. It might just mean pissing some folks off along the way (but trust me, it will come from a place of love). And yet, I grow more and more confident in the knowledge that this journey, this path is why I am here. It’s the core of my own purpose in this world. Where the path ultimately leads, I’m not certain. But then, isn’t this how all great odysseys are?

So what are you doing this Thursday, October 20? Hopefully, you’re taking part in the first ever Conflict Resolution Day. A huge reason for the creation of this day is to help generate greater awareness of the benefits of alternative dispute resolution and peaceable solutions to violence.

The Association for Conflict Resolution has a growing list of events that are taking place throughout the U.S. and a few other places in the world.

Even if you’re not a professional practitioner, you can still be involved in the celebrating the spirit of conflict resolution. John D. Willis, the Director of the Graduate Studies in Dispute Resolution at Sullivan University, has some ideas for small ways to recognize and honor Conflict Resolution Day:

• apologize for what you did
• forgive, accept an apology and move on
• stop negativity or gossip all day
• cancel a debt for someone who can’t pay
• analyze why you are angry and get control of it
• tell the truth all day
• send an email of appreciation to someone who will be surprised
• lead your group in the right direction, all day
• present a workable solution to the group that shows goodwill
• sit with a lonely person and listen carefully to them

Ever have a dream where you realize it was a dream? It’s called lucidity. Simplified, its when you become aware that all the rules that govern the dream’s reality don’t actually exist. Kind of like Neo exploring the Matrix. It’s a rich experience where you can do amazing, often superhuman things. Steve Pavlina reminded me of the power of lucidity earlier this year (I first came across this concept as an eleven year old when I picked up a copy of Omni magazine). While my lucid moments tend to be brief, they always elicit a "Wow, this is cool!" feeling. When I wake up, I always wonder why I can’t have more dreaming experiences like this. This past week, I had an actual experience at work that I think may explain why lucidity in dreaming and wide-awake living is so hard to achieve.

I was in a meeting with my team when I was asked a question where I was almost ready to give a pat, well-rehearsed response. The kind of response that would be expected of someone who only knew a little about how to actually solve the problem. The kind of response where the boundaries were dictated by the governing "rules" of management. Yet, at that time, I awoke to a lucid moment where I realized that these so-called rules don’t actually exist and that I was free to create something new.

So, instead of practicing a superpower like flying or shooting flames from my hands, I practiced the real-life superpower of authenticity. I was free to admit my own level of understanding, seek new answers, and create new questions. I was able to be human. Where did this come from? It all seemed to surface from my own thoughts and the realization that I could challenge my notion of reality.

In his challenge for us to Take the Red Pill, Steve artfully writes:

I can’t prove to you that you’re in a thought bubble right now. But you
can prove it to yourself if you have enough curiosity to make the
attempt. You have to decide to swallow the red pill. The only way to
prove you’re in a thought bubble is to consciously change your thoughts
in such a way that you contradict at least one of the foundational
beliefs that form the bubble. This begins with opening your mind to the
possibility that your thoughts are shaping your reality. You think your
thoughts are actually based on some reality “out there,” but they’re
really creating your reality. If you believe in an objective external
reality, then that will be true for you. But are you aware that you
don’t have to subscribe to this belief? And that doing so unnecessarily
limits your experience of life?

Moments of lucidity can happen to us all the time. As Steve suggests, we have the power to recreate our reality and shape our lives in ways formerly thought impossible. The challenge is to simply wake up.