Tag Archives: coaching

Being A Good Customer Is Good For Your Own Work

by on November 18, 2007 in Business

Now that I’m out of the non-profit world and in the corporate world, I’m more conscious of public perception of companies. In particular, the perceptions of the bloggerati who can sometimes be unforgiving in their attitudes. As a customer, I will openly admit that I’ve grown less patient with companies over the years. If I feel screwed over just one time, that’s the end of that “relationship”. Is this what we’ve come to expect? Companies need to meet our own sense of perfection or else?

And then we wonder why our own work is a less-than-fantastic experience. It’s actually a vicious cycle. The customer demands their own personally perfect interaction which puts pressure on the company to respond. Then, those of us inside the company or non-profit have to work harder than ever to meet these ever-escalating customer expectations. All of this may indeed explain the long hours, intense competitive pressure, and lack of fulfillment that makes our work a joyless pursuit.

Want to change this dynamic? Good…it’s simple (I’ll leave whether it’s easy up to you).

First, stop being an overly demanding and unfair customer. Since when has the one strike you’re out rule applied in baseball or one foul you’re out in basketball? Never. So, if a company screws up don’t give up on them. Same thing applies to a restaurant, a shop, an online service. Talk to someone who can make things happen and let them know that you’ve been disappointed and then…

Second, start being a coaching customer. If that company screws up, let them know what they did and how they can make it better. If your restaurant server’s service isn’t up to your expectations, let them know…don’t just tell the manager after the meal is over.

Third, and finally, make each transaction about more than just money. Within that financial trade is the opportunity for greater value. Be the kind of customer you want to work with in your own work. Be respectful and reasonable and caring. Remember that you get what you give.

I know some companies aren’t going to get this. They may shrug off your attempts at being a good customer, but I’d argue that these companies are actually few in number. Trust me…within each company there is at least one person who gives a damn as to the organization succeeds or fails. Find them and help them. And in the process, you might just be coaching your next customer.

Connecting To Work That Matters

by on September 24, 2007 in Work

As I wrap up for this Monday evening, I keep coming back to an idea that is fairly simple, yet ever so easy for managers to forget. It’s the idea of matter. No, not dark matter hanging out in the cosmos or grey matter hanging out between our ears.

It’s the idea that employees want work that matters.

It’s the idea that employees want to matter.

We all want to feel that who we are and what we do is significant. In the crazy busy world of business, these feelings can get lost in the shuffle of meeting deadlines, making client calls, and other everyday activities. Yet, without being in touch with what matters, we tend to just go through the motions.

Leader managers have a unique role to fill by helping their folks connect with these deep and significant qualities. As a manager…if you don’t already know these things…take some time today to dialogue with your staff and find out what really matters to them.

And take some time to answer: What really matters to you? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

In Service To Our Clients

by on June 12, 2007 in Work

I experienced a moment of lucid learning today that’s well worth sharing. Hopefully, this will resonate with you, particularly if you work directly with customers and clients in a relationship-building capacity.

I have a client who is delightful in most ways, but is rarely specific in their requests. They sort of know what they want to achieve, but have a hard time communicating this with me. In the current case, they know they want a new website design for one of their events but that’s the extent of it. They know the design should be similar to the rest of their site but also different. This could mean nearly anything which is frustrating when trying to scope a project and understand their needs. What adds to the frustration is this lack of clarity (or at least lack of clarity in communication) is typical to how this client approaches our work together. It’s increasingly obvious that the client needs help in getting more detailed about what they want…which is leading up to the equally obvious trap of me knowing exactly what this client needs and how they need to do it.

In our project planning call today, I decided to take a stern approach with them. The overall tone of my voice was “look, it’s time for you to get your act together if you want this work done.” I didn’t say it exactly like that, but that was the vibe that I communicated. With some clients, I can take this approach and be okay, but for them it clearly wasn’t what they needed at the time. I later found out through my partner that I seemed ‘angry’ and ‘more hostile than usual.’ Yeah…big red flags.

Through this encounter, I recalled an important concept from my coaching training: each action should always be in service to the client. If you think about it, that’s actually a liberating idea. It opens up the opportunities for how we interact with our clients. If he or she needs to be encouraged and have their confidence fostered, then a coach can approach from this angle. And if he or she needs a loving kick in the rear, then that approach is also viable and honored as long as it is in service to the client and their ultimate needs. The danger is approaching as I did, which clearly did them no service. My actions actually diverted them from their overall objective.

So, what’s the learning?

1. Know the client and where they want to go.
Building the proper relationship with our clients is vital to a healthy, long-term partnership. There are no short cuts on this one. In order to help a client define and create their future, it means understanding what makes them unique, what fuels their purpose, what they most desire from your product or service.

For those who practice good client communication, that’s usually as far as they’ll go. Here’s the challenge: take it deeper. Actually make it a goal to know your client as an individual. Why do they work for themselves or their organization? What is it that personally drives them? What defines success for them? Knowing the answers to these questions is what separates the true partners from the service providers.

2. Match tone and approach to their purpose not our own.
This means putting our own personal preferences aside. If we’re getting ready to deliver a good stern lecture to a client who is waffling in their decision-making, we’d better be prepared to honestly ask if this is our preference or whether it’s truly in service to the client’s needs.

It also means setting our own emotional attachments aside. If a client’s indecision is driving us nuts, getting pissed off at them is not going to help them get where they need to go. That doesn’t mean their indecisiveness gets ignored…it’s still important to be open about it’s impact on their business objectives. We’re still trying to practice a caring partnership and that means sometimes addressing tough subjects. The key is to do it in a way that moves them toward their goals rather than farther away.

Mentors Are Everywhere

by on March 1, 2007 in Career

Even though I’m technically out of the non-profit association world, I still like to check in frequently with friends and other folks who keep this vital area of our working world moving. Over at the association for association professionals (ASAE) they have a blog called Acronym. To work in associations is to understand why this particular blog name is rather clever and playful.

A couple of days ago, Lisa Junker noted an interview with Howard Gardner in the March 2007 Harvard Business Review where he talks about the influence of an anti-mentor. Gardner describes anti-mentors as “potential role models who had been unkind to their employees or who had shown behavior that others would not want to emulate.”

Lisa writes:

This struck a chord with me, and as I consider the idea, I’m surprised to realize how much of my personal management style has been shaped not by the good examples but by the bad ones. Many things I strive to do as a manager—like moving heaven and earth to do a review on time, or providing constructive feedback immediately when needed (in a private setting) instead of letting issues fester, to give just two examples—came about because I’ve seen the atmosphere that can be created when these basic things don’t happen.

Which prompted Lisa to ask: “What lessons can you thank your anti-mentors for?”

There’s quite a lot to consider in her question. The first is that, as employees, we are capable of being grateful for the examples of lousy management. Within that, there’s a certain release that from being in a less-than-optimal professional relationship. And we also gain a greater sense of control when we can acknowledge our own learning in these situations. This doesn’t excuse shoddy management practices and certainly nothing that creates toxic work environments, but by taking time to consider how situations of anti-mentorship are contributing to our own growth, we can turn some of this pain and discomfort to our own advantage. If nothing else, it teaches us we need to get the hell out of that organization as fast as humanly possible.

I also realize that it’s not quite as easy to throw my former managers and colleagues into the two separate buckets of mentors and anti-mentors. Each of them have their strengths as well as their flaws – all of which have contributed to my own practice of being a manager and leader. In our not quite so black and white world, it seems more appropriate to consider our past managers as human beings who have a mixed bag of qualities.

And rather than thinking we have to have it all together before we can possibly mentor someone, John West encourages us to just do it and do it now.

Can I Be Honest With You?

by on March 29, 2006 in Business, Work

When was the last time you uttered this phrase? I guess I’ve been semi-consciously tossing it around a lot lately as a preface for saying something candid. But what’s really behind asking if you can give someone the “truth?”

In the course of a conversation with a volunteer whom I greatly respect, I took a pause, launched into the titular phrase here, and started to give my thinking on a current situation involving some delicate issues. I was surprised when he stopped me and asked me to think about what I just said. “Huh?,” was my reply. He responded, “Why did you feel the need to ask me if you could be honest? Honest as opposed to what? A lie? A half-truth?” He was being somewhat facetious, but he was clearly helping me better understand how the casual use of language can shape the larger conversation.

So, why would we begin a conversation or preface a statement with the question, “Can I be honest with you?” Maybe it’s to soften a verbal blow that’s coming. Or perhaps its an acknowledgement that it’s hard to offer frank thoughts to the other individual. We all bring different assumptions about how an opinion might land for the person at the other end. Get curious about those assumptions and whether they are truly helpful in building a more meaningful relationship.

Coaching comes in all shapes and from surprising directions. And the best coaching comes from well-founded relationships that don’t necessarily come from a manager or originate within the organization. Being authentic and vulnerable and asking for help from customers, members, and vendors opens up a whole new world of possible learning.