We’re all going to get knocked down. It’s a fact. And as so many wise folks have said before, it’s not the getting knocked down that’s the problem…it’s refusing to get back up again and keep moving. I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. I’ll openly confess that the past six months have been a strange, at times frustrating journey. I’ve been on job interviews that seemed like great fits for both me and the employer only to learn that I failed because I wasn’t exactly what they were looking for. I’ve also had a few potential contracts for Bailey WorkPlay dry up and disappear for reasons largely unknown. (And if you’re thinking there are lessons to learn when it comes to closing deals, you might be right.) But my point is not to lament these missed opportunities or seek pity. Instead, it’s to highlight how – when we get knocked on our ass – to get back up again.

Out of these experiences, I’ve learned to dream even bigger, work even harder, be even more persistent than before. Like Luke, when I get knocked down I’m dusting myself off, wiping away the bloody nose, and getting back up. Currently, I’m working on creating opportunities to do things I wasn’t sure I would ever be able to do. I’m chasing down a long-held dream I want to become real. And I can’t wait to share the outcomes when the time is right.

How about you? Are you struggling to get back up on your feet after taking one to the chin? Are you shoving aside a dream to do something you’ve always wanted to do? Know that you’re not alone and don’t stay down. See it as an opportunity to stand up strong and continue to move forward in your journey. Fully believe that you deserve good in your life, because – trust me – you do.

Over the last 15 years, I’ve worked in Fortune 500 companies and in scrappy start-ups. By and large, most of my marketing success comes from a strong sense of business objectives combined with self-taught tools. I am eager to know the next tool, vendor or service that makes my job easier.

After a start-up I was working for folded, I found myself wondering what to do with these marketing program resources bouncing around in my head. I shared with a friend that I wanted to put the list on a website, like my own little toolbox. She suggested that after I do that, I take it to the college classrooms. Wha-la. The idea for GoMarket was born.

Another start up came my way, and I devoted most of my time to it. GoMarket fell to the wayside for 6 months or more. And when that job came to an end, it was like a little gift. I decided to devote all of my time to furthering the idea of GoMarket. It took me a few months to explore the blogging arena, develop the idea, and ponder what I wanted to do and what I did not want to do. I met with a lot of people. I shared my ideas. I listened.

I wasn’t looking for another job. I was happily moving forward on GoMarket. But an opportunity fell in my lap with SolarWinds, one that offered me the chance to work in a nationally renowned marketing engine that took a small start-up through an IPO. I recognized this as an opportunity to improve my offerings in GoMarket.

Only this time, I am not putting GoMarket on the sidelines. Everyday, I do a little bit to progress the company. Some days offer huge progresses; other days are tiny baby steps. But I am ok with that. My employer is ok with that. (We have an understanding – they support my efforts in the community because I’ll bring my learnings back and apply it to them. I respect the boundaries, and make that role my #1 priority.)

For me, I know that it’s all working out the way it’s supposed to. I take one day at a time, and start with the first step in front of me.

photo credit: Joachim S. Müller (via Flickr)

Well, yes and no. Arnie writes that this strategy misses a greater point:

Business relationships are as much about valuing and evincing our selves as they are about reaching and helping others. Both aspects (self and other) need to be expressed and honored to foster lasting connections for business success and satisfaction.

There seems to be this tacit understanding that relationships in business are different from those elsewhere in life. Perhaps it’s okay to screw over a vendor in your business, but it’s clearly not acceptable to do the same to a friend. Or maybe it’s fine to do everything to make a member happy but necessary to put conditions on making our spouses equally happy. It’s as if we are two individuals merely sharing the same skin, which might explain why we’re so damned unhappy at times.

Like Arnie, I believe there’s a different way…one that accepts that our core values define our relationships regardless if they are business or personal. There is no need for this artificial schism. What if, instead of making the elevator pitch primarily (or solely) about the other person or even selfishly about ourselves, we use the AND proposition and make it about us. The pitch then becomes one for a mutually respectful relationship where the needs of both sides have equal importance.

Not realistic? Think a customer or member is too self-interested, focused too much on what they gain? Maybe, but then, that’s the message they’ve been trained well to absorb. This is an invitation to propose a new type of relationship, one that addresses the client’s needs, but also honors our own goals, dreams, and possibilities. There’s no way to do any of this when the relationship becomes imbalanced and the customer’s needs are always put first. Actually, that’s not a relationship…it’s servitude.

And we have a choice.

From Bailey WorkPlay, first published March 8, 2006

Are you someone who has many interests? Do you like to read and write, fix and invent, design projects and start businesses, and many other things, all at once? Do you feel limited by the word ‘or,’ uncomfortable when you need to narrow down choices, and absolutely revolted by the command to ‘pick one?’ Is ‘and’ your favorite word?

This is the paragraph that begins chapter five of Susan L Reid’s book Discovering Your Inner Samurai. The chapter is called Doing What You Love: Multiple-Streams-of-Passion (MSoP). Okay, raise your hand if Susan’s profile describes you. My hand is raised high in the air…and I’m tempted to throw the other one in the air for good measure.

The thing about Susan is that she really makes this characteristic sound great (and for the most part it is). But how many times are we made to feel not-normal, unfocused, and generally less-than because of it? And then we try hard to hide this inherent inclination by going the normal, focused route only to be met with unhappiness and frustration. Starting to sound familiar? Fantastic! This post, my fellow MSoP’ers, is dedicated to you. Actually, I’m hoping it’s going to be co-written by you. We all have experiences with the questions laid out here, experiences that can be shared as we help others like us use this characteristic as the awesome, empowering quality it is. So, come along…join the dialogue below and let’s show how we Renaissance Souls can kick mucho butt.

Jumping off questions:

What are the tell-tale signs of someone who is a multiple-streams-of-passion character?
Susan’s description above is pretty indicative of someone with MSoP. I’ll throw in another that I struggle with…not feeling like you have a home. That’s home in the figurative sense, particularly when it comes to professional identity. Ever wonder where you fit in exactly because your interests don’t fit neatly into one of the confining boxes most professions create? The last thing I want is a label or be confined to just one thing…and yet there are times when I pine for that kind of simplicity.

How can we best explain this characteristic to others, particular to those who don’t find it “normal?”
I’m not sure why it’s so difficult to explain the concept to others. Is it really that much of a foreign concept? Or do we MSoP’ers present some threat to those who believe that stability and consistency are absolutes?

How can we emphasize that our MSoP is an asset rather than a distraction?
This is sort of a related question to the last one. In this case, though, we have to ask ourselves how we can use our inherent gifts of curiosity and exploration for a stronger guiding purpose. How can we weave all of these different interests together to form a new niche that’s distinctly our own?

How do you know when running toward the next great thing is actually running from something else?
I’m leaving the question that I posed to Susan offline as my parting shot. It’s one that I struggle with in my own internal dialogue. When I get bored with something and want to move on to the next great thing, am I leaving that activity too soon? Or is this just the voice of all those non-MSoP folks in my life telling me that I’m doing something wrong?

As I wrote in The Dip, you’re either the best in the world (where ‘world’ can be a tiny slice of the environment) or you’re invisible. This means being Draconian in your choices. No, you can’t also do a little of this or a little of that. Best in your world means burning your other bridges and obsessing.

Wrong or right? If he’s right, what does this say for all of us MSoP’ers?

Before going any further, let me make a full confession: I fell flat on my ass and while it was painful and humiliating and the time I would not take back the experience for any amount of money. I learned way too much that will help me when I go back to working for myself again in the future. And until then, I’m making a point of reading and networking with folks who have made the transition from organizational employee to entrepreneur.

Enter Susan L. Reid and her new book called Discovering Your Inner Samurai. The subtitle is The Entrepreneurial Woman’s Journey to Business Success, but if you’re a guy don’t let that scare you away. Even though she writes from a female perspective and often openly to a female reader, there’s plenty of great advice and insight for anyone.

As to what this whole Inner Samurai stuff is, here’s how Susan describes it on page 5:

I began calling [my inner voice] my Inner Samurai when I realized how strong, vast, and powerful my inner voice is. Inner because the voice is deep within my being (to distinguish it from the voice inside my head) and Samurai because of how strong and powerful it is.

That definition gives a pretty good indication of what’s to come. Bear in mind that this isn’t your typical “how to get started in business” tome. Susan is much more interested in helping her readers figure out who they truly are, how they can connect their identity to their passion, and how they can focus that passion in their entrepreneurial actions. She interlaces these lessons with her own personal experiences as an entrepreneur (or as she calls it, an Accidental Pren-her™) and the experiences of her clients.

Susan encourages any newly emerging entrepreneur to consider the process of starting up a business as an adventurous journey. Along the journey, it’s natural to ask questions like these:

• Is my business idea good enough?
• How do I get the money to start up my business?
• Will I be able to run a successful business and not be chained to it 24/7?
• Do I have all the learning, education, and experience needed to be successful?
• What if I fail?

From my own experience, I readily admit that I struggled with each of these questions. They’re the types that can gnaw at you – particularly that last one on failure. And for each of these questions, Susan offers real examples of how to deal with them and the underlying fears they represent.

By the end of the book, be prepared to walk away with some essential tools that will help you build a business based on who you are. This is where the energy is and it’s what will get you through the lean times that are inevitable in any start-up venture. Trust yourself. Confront your fears. Enjoy the journey.

So if you’re thinking about starting a business, add Discovering Your Inner Samurai to your library. You can learn more about Susan and her coaching practice at http://www.alkamae.com/. And if you’re interested in what others are writing about the book, check out her virtual book tour page.

A final teaser: On Friday, I’ll be writing an additional post connected to Discovering Your Inner Samurai. One of the chapters in Susan’s book is on a subject that I’m intensely interested in – the concept of Multiple Streams of Passion. If you’re someone like me who has multiple interests and passions but don’t know how to harness the potential of all these options, make sure you come on back and join in the dialogue.

Or you could submit it to Your Elevator Pitch, a website that allows you to post your pitch and receive ratings and feedback from others. In some ways, its kind of a self-help group for microentrepreneurs. One upside of the site is that it gives you access to others who are fine-tuning their pitch and you can gather ideas.

Right now, the site seems a bit new. For that reason, there are a few downsides. Your Elevator Pitch makes it easier to give quick, knee jerk ratings than actual comments to help you improve your message. I tried to add a message to one of the pitches and I’m not sure it actually posted. And there’s not a very good way to search all pitches which will be problem if the site scales too far beyond the 78 pitches there today.

With that said, the site has a lot of potential and here’s hoping that it can be a successful way for those of us working on selling our work or companies to craft a dynamic message. Give it a shot and let me know what happens. You’ll probably find my pitch there in a few weeks.

Well, yes and no. Arnie writes that this strategy misses a greater point:

Business relationships are as much about valuing and evincing our selves as they are about reaching and helping others. Both aspects (self and other) need to be expressed and honored to foster lasting connections for business success and satisfaction.

There seems to be this tacit understanding that relationships in business are different from those elsewhere in life. Perhaps it’s okay to screw over a vendor in your business, but it’s clearly not acceptable to do the same to a friend. Or maybe it’s fine to do everything to make a member happy but necessary to put conditions on making our spouses equally happy. It’s as if we are two individuals merely sharing the same skin, which might explain why we’re so damned unhappy at times.

Like Arnie, I believe there’s a different way…one that accepts that our core values define our relationships regardless if they are business or personal. There is no need for this artificial schism. What if, instead of making the elevator pitch primarily (or solely) about the other person or even selfishly about ourselves, we use the AND proposition and make it about us. The pitch then becomes one for a mutually respectful relationship where the needs of both sides have equal importance.

Not realistic? Think a customer or member is too self-interested, focused too much on what they gain? Maybe, but then, that’s the message they’ve been trained well to absorb. This is an invitation to propose a new type of relationship, one that addresses the client’s needs, but also honors our own goals, dreams, and possibilities. There’s no way to do any of this when the relationship becomes imbalanced and the customer’s needs are always put first. Actually, that’s not a relationship…it’s servitude.

And we have a choice.

In the fall of last year, I received To Be of Use: The Seven Seeds of Meaningful Work, by Dave Smith. The title certainly was compelling and intimately related to my own philosophy toward work. The book is not only an autobiography of a man dedicated to making this world a better place, but a field guide for all of us to use to connect our work to something greater than ourselves. Dave Smith was the original founder of Smith & Hawken, a company dedicated to organic gardening (sadly, Smith & Hawken was bought up by Scott Seed and changed into the kind of empty Pottery Barn-like store that Dave fought against).

It has seven chapters with each one focused on a particular value or seed. And the chapters flow easily from one to the next: faith, hope, justice, temperance, prudence, courage, and love. In each, he offers his own personal experiences as a testament to what an individual can do with their life. He writes of how he left his high-paying job as a computer programmer to work for Cesar Chavez and five dollars a week. He speaks candidly about his spiritual wandering from a fundamentalist Christian upbringing toward Quakerism.

What I found most refreshing is his take on business and entrepreneurism. His story is an inspiring account of how business can be a force for good in the world and that a successful business can be measured by such ideals as responsibility, compassion, and service to the common good. At a time in our history when many companies are better known for their greed and maliciously competitive actions, we need more men and women to follow the path of Dave Smith.

A final quote, which I believe sums up the main theme of To Be of Use:

Meaning comes most naturally when we find and fulfill our purpose. This implies that there is an overall higher purpose, one beyond simply surviving and satisfying our own selves on what someone once called our separate little islands of commodities. We find our purpose in responsibility and service to others, living our values – making things better, fairer, happier for others.

Here’s one poignant snippets:

I made the prime purpose of my business to give, give, give. To add incredible value to the lives of people that I came into contact with. I gave everyone who was interested tons of great information on how to grow their business. I sent them information in the post. I emailed them. I chatted to them on the phone. Some became clients, some didn’t. It really didn’t matter because I knew I was making a difference. I stopped forever the "I can grow your business and solve your marketing problems – Why don’t you become my client" pitch. Within a few days people started contacting me asking me to work with them.

What had changed? Instead of trying to convince people that I could give them the knowledge that could solve their marketing problems – I just started giving them the knowledge anyway and let them decide for themselves. I switched my focus from what I wanted to what they wanted.

Take in that last sentence again. Play with it. Does it fit somewhere in your work right now? Someplace in your life? I think to my own experiences in business, in marketing, in designing a soulful career and realize that I have put way too much emphasis on me. The most difficult thing about having faith in the notion of continuous abundance is that you’re never sure if freely giving your ideas and knowledge will come back to help you. But then, that’s the real problem isn’t it? When we offer freebies, we tend to just give away the crumbs and hope its enough to entice new business or reup current clients. What if we also started to worry less about intellectual property and gave our best work away, as well? No strings attached.

Ideas are a dime a dozen. More than likely, someone else has had the same idea before. Think folks like Stephen Covey, Tom Peters, or Seth Godin are saying anything new or groundbreaking? Nah, not really. Yet, what makes them – and each of us – compelling to others is the quality and uniqueness of our own humanity.

When it comes to building a business of any size, clients and customers want to surround themselves with others who can make a true difference in their work and lives. In the end, its the relationship that matters. The key ingredient to any healthy relationship is a caring regard for another. So, practice freely giving and don’t be surprised if the return is far greater than anything you anticipated.

In the past few months, I’ve come to learn about mediation as a practice and a profession. I’ve also gained a great deal of respect for those who mediate disputes (prior to landing at my current gig, I tried to mediate a staff conflict and discovered how difficult it is to do well). In a culture that seems to idolize the act of litigation, mediation is just a better way.

During the conference, I was able to attend a few sessions. One of the coolest was a workshop focused on helping practitioners use blogging as a marketing tool. It was led by three prominent bloggers in the field (which you really need to visit and read):

• Dina Beach Lynch – Mediation Mensch
• Diane Levin – Online Guide to Mediation
• Bob Ambrogi – Lawsites

An added bonus was that Tammy Lenski, author of Strategic Conversations, was there, too. To be honest, it was the first time that I’ve managed to find myself in a room with more than two bloggers in it (including myself) so this workshop experience was particularly neat.

Folks like them and other legal bloggers like Arnie Herz at Legal Sanity give the world of law a truly good name.