Tag Archives: living

When Goals Get In The Way Of Fun

by on April 16, 2006 in Life

Well, leave it to Kathy Sierra to inspire me to do something else. She asks a seemingly simple question about why many people (and I’m included here) don’t like to exercise when most animals crave it.

She muses…

Take a human out of his work cubicle or off the couch and turn him loose outside. What happens? Hmmm… for far too many of us, nothing happens. Or we turn around and walk right back in the door and head for the couch or the chair in front of our computer. The one thing that usually does not happen is the kind of physical exuberance–the sheer joy of being able to run and jump–that so many other animals do.

She offers some explanations but I know for myself that it’s a matter of just not enjoying the process of exercising. Or, at least, that was my old story. This old story continues that exercising is boring and pointless (forgetting all the pointed stats that it’s actually good for us to break a sweat). So, to make it less boring and pointless, I always tried to initiate a set of goals and keep a log to track my progress. This always worked great…for a while. And then something would happen like I’d get sick or my work got heated up. I’d miss a few workout sessions and before I knew it I’d be back to where I started. Only this time, frustrated and depressed to have to begin the long progress back toward my goals. I wager this might be a familiar pattern for most folks.

So, in keeping with my new living philosophy of rewriting my personal story, I’m taking a very different approach to exercise: I’m giving all these goals the boot. I’m rediscovering whatever exercise I’m doing and focusing on the fun of the activity. I’m running again and leaving the stopwatch at home. Rather I’m listening to my body tell me when to run, when to walk, when to just enjoy the time outside.

Now my recrafted personal story is that I love to exercise and that my body is a finely tuned system that will always tell me what it needs. I don’t have to impose any artificial goals to force me to workout. I’m more than able to find the fun in things without creating structures.

If you find yourself on a treadmill going nowhere (exercise, work, relationships, you name it), slow down and let the rhythm of a playful life take hold.

A Special Request for Austinites

by on April 15, 2006 in Life, Media

I’m planning something rather BIG and could use some help. If you’re living in or around Austin, TX, shoot me an email at baileyworkplay[AT]gmail[DOT]com. I’ll have more details soon…

The Perils Of Psychic Claustrophobia

by on February 20, 2006 in Creative, Life

I tend to have some interesting phobias, but they’re probably not uncommon to those experienced by other folks. For most of my life, I’ve been afraid of spiders. Here’s where it gets interesting…not all spiders. For instance, I really like tarantulas. I guess its because they’re kind of like giant fuzzy caterpillars (you know, the brown and black kind that you commonly find crawling up trees and along porch rails) only with eight big legs. And I love Spider-Man. On the other hand, I can’t stand the ones with long spindly legs like black widows and argiopes. I find them fascinating, but the thought of having one touch me sends a cold shiver running through my body.

Another phobia that I seem to have is linked to small, tight spaces. I remember my one time doing some cave exploration in high school, I found myself in a confined area trying to squeeze through and all I could think was “what if I get through, but can’t get back out?” Well, that was my last spelunking adventure.

[An aside...as I get older, I realize that many of my fears are irrational and the quickest (but definitely not easiest) way to overcome them is to confront them head on. Perhaps there's more there for me to consider. Okay, back to the original point]

This weekend is a holiday for the U.S. Federal Goverment which means my organization offers a three day weekend. And my wife decided to take the girls to visit her parents in Southern Virginia. This left me alone in my home for the first time in quite a while, and it has been a wonderful time. It’s not so much the quiet as it is the isolation that has been rewarding. The past two days have allowed me the chance to review all that has been going on in my life the past few months, to realize that the critical problems I’ve been facing at work are not insurmountable, to reorient myself back toward my north star – the very philosophy that defines how I choose to bring myself to my work and my life.

I realize now that I had been suffering a type of psychic claustrophobia where problems at work and home had closed in on me leaving me constricted and struggling for breath. I desperately sought an exit. Little did I know how simple the solution could be. For me, it was some temporary freedom from many of my other roles: father, husband, manager.

This is what works for me. If you’re finding that nothing seems to be fitting into place like it once did, perhaps its time for a retreat of your own. We each have a different breaking point and a different idea for retreat. And it won’t permanently solve the problem. In retreat, there’s work that must still be done. It might not be isolation that’s needed, but time with a good friend. Whatever it is, be good to yourself and find what your mind, body, and soul need.

The Best Gifts Are The Simple Ones

by on January 24, 2006 in Creative, Life

Over the past couple of months, I had the privilege to be a part of something magical. It all started when a great fella named Dave Rothacker had a hair-brained idea: wouldn’t it be neat if a group of people took a book which had a lot of shared meaning – each signing it with something nice – and sent it back to the author? Dave, being the hardboiled optimist that he is, dismissed the difficulties of coordinating such a feat. He didn’t care that the book would need to touch over thirty people dispersed throughout North America and Europe. He also stuck out his tongue at the very thought of trying to do this during the busiest time of year for mailing services – the Christmas/end of December holidays. And yet, it all worked better than anyone could have dreamed.

Those of us who make up Rosa Say’s Ho’ohana Community got a chance to let Rosa know how much she means to each of us. All of us have read her book, Managing with Aloha, and have been inspired to bring more of ourselves to our work. What started with Dave’s humble, yet powerful, idea snowballed into a project of love that involved each person giving something of themselves. Folks in the community coordinated personal handoffs with each other, they took pictures of themselves and the book, they wrote notes in the margins detailing how a particular part of the book made an impact on them.

It brings a smile to my face just imagining (and reading a recent email to the Community) how Rosa feels. All of us who write want to know on some level just how much of an impact their words have on others. In the end, what turned out to be just a book was transformed into a living testament of how one person has made a difference in the world.

All of this is a gracious and beautiful reminder that the best gifts are those given with simple intentions. Creating the gift may not always be easy, but when offered with true love from the brightest light of the soul, the gift assumes a power that is truly magical. And it encourages greater acts of light and love in other ways and in other places. Those of us in the Ho’ohana Community now ask, "What else can we do now?"

Cheers, Rosa. Your magic begets even more magic by those who are blessed to know you.

It’s Good To Get Sick Sometimes

by on December 30, 2005 in Life

I’m back from Christmas with my in-laws in Southern Virginia. As much as I enjoy the annual visit from the jolly fat man, this year he left us a rather unsavory gift – the stomach flu. Fortunately, he was nice about it and left us the kind that has the courtesy to wait until the stroke of midnight on December 26 before inflicting damage. It managed to hit nearly everyone of us (eighteen in number) within a 48 hour period. The only two to escape the bug’s wrath were my daughters who stayed well only because they had had it the week before.

Unlike most of my family, I didn’t spend most of the time in the bathroom throwing up. I was nauseous, but I have the kind of stomach that selfishly wants to keep whatever it has. The real kick in the pants for me was the body aches, particularly in my knees and back. So, it was a welcome relief to feel 85% better the next day. As I was enjoying a cup of early morning coffee (after I slept most of the previous day away, I was more than happy to wake up at 5am), it struck me how appreciative I was to be feeling healthy. It’s like the old song line: “You don’t know what you got until its gone.”

And it’s also a main principle of my personal philosophy: to know one thing, we must know its opposite. It’s the natural yin and yang of our humanity. Too often, though, we only want to know what the sunny side of the hill looks like and deny that there is the darkness of the shaded side. It’s natural to want to avoid pain, sorrow, even our inclinations toward our less noble qualities. But does this truly honor ourselves? Does this avoidance lead to a better life?

I think back to those moments in my own life which are painful: getting the emotional crap kicked out of me in high school, getting rejected by a job which I thought I had “in the bag,” suffering a debilitating anxiety attack at a relative’s wedding. Would I want to relive any of these moments? I’d be a liar if I said I would. Yet, each one has offered me an opportunity to experience my own humanity and to better recognize love, joy, and success. Sometimes bad things happen to good people so they can be better people.