Via my favorite corporate bullshit haters, here’s a link to a project called Their Circular Life. Beyond the interesting effect of watching the same scene change through one day, there’s some great learning here to apply in our life.

It’s Flash-based so make sure your browser has the plugin. Once you get to the site, choose Enter with Intro to get a flavor of what’s to come. Take some time to explore each scene and pay attention to the little things that change along with the more noticeable ones. And don’t neglect the tips to the bottom left of the scenes. I like this one, in particular:

Release the pressure of your life and listen to what your surroundings is telling you.

So, take some time right now to stop with all the go-go and slow down. At least for a couple of minutes. Breathe and look around. Even if you’re in your work cube, swivel on your chair and really notice what’s going on. Take in the sounds, the smells, the visuals. What do you notice? What sort of surprises did you find?

And the folks who put together Their Circular Life are hoping to open this project up. If you’re interested in taking part in their idea, they’ve released source files and documentation on how to get involved.

A fine bottle of wine single-malt scotch needs to make it’s way to Jamie Notter for keeping me informed about all the juicy items in the Harvard Business Review. Once upon a time, I had a subscription and it was one of the best professional development investments I made. Which begs a question of…why don’t I subscribe now?

Anyway, back to Jamie and a recent article he brings to light, which focuses on the power of conversation in our working life. Poet David Whyte notes that most executives are hungry for a “larger language” that cuts through all the typical corporate bs that passes for communication. If you regularly play buzzword bingo during company meetings and win several times over, you understand what this type of shallow language is.

Jamie highlights a paragraph from the article that bears highlighting again, if for no other reason than to focus on one particular word: belong.

At the executive and managerial levels, work is almost always conversation in one form or another, and yet we spend almost no time apprenticing ourselves to the disciplines necessary for holding real exchanges. That’s partly because they involve a great deal of self-knowledge and a willingness to study how human beings try to belong—skills we hope our strategic abilities will help us get by without.

What is so compelling about the notion of belonging? And how can our daily language foster a greater sense of belonging – not only for ourselves but others around us?

When I worked in the non-profit association world, I witnessed the potential of belonging in a professional setting. When an actual spirit of belonging is present, it’s a dynamic and inspiring thing to behold. It not only energizes the individual, it invigorates the group. Yet, all too often, we get the agreement to join and stop there. Joining is the easy part. Cultivating a spirit of belonging takes work, preparation, and, as David Whyte notes, a willingness to curiously study what it means to belong to your group, your set of shared values, and your organization.

If you’re a manager or a team lead, what can you do to foster a sense of belonging in members of your group? Consider that each person has their own need for belonging and it’s your responsibility to figure out what this is. It goes beyond the question of why they’re working in your organization. It gets more to the relationship connecting the employee and their work. We don’t want to belong to something we don’t believe in; rather, we want to belong to something that truly matters to us.

Ask yourself…why would someone want to belong to your workgroup? Your department? Your organization? Taking the job and joining a company is the easy part. Helping someone truly belong to their work is where the power is.

What are you doing today to cultivate a sense of belonging?

It’s spring break for my girls and what better way to spend it but at Disney World in Orlando, Florida. This will be Leah’s second trip and Katie’s first to the Magic Kingdom. This will be my third trip (first as a 7 year old, second and third as an adult) and it’s interesting to experience it again. It’s during this trip that I’m finally enjoying the park for what it is: a place where magic can happen. Yeah, I know…that’s rather naive and counter to the cynical notion of the corporate artificiality of Disney. But, magic can happen if we allow it.

As a kid, I remember being enchanted by the Swiss Family Treehouse located in Adventureland. What young boy wouldn’t want to live in a huge treehouse? Now, as an adult, I tried to relive that magic, but it was strange. The whole experience was just climbing steps to the top and seeing the Robinson’s sleeping quarters, a dining room, and a sitting room. I kept wondering if that was all there was. And for me, that was really all there was.

This morning, my wife got an email from a friend of hers who lives with multiple sclerosis. In their communication, Caroline mentioned that we climbed the Swiss Family Treehouse and her friend offered a whole new perspective on this place in the Magic Kingdom. Turns out that she was told she couldn’t climb the treehouse due to her condition. She laughed and replied that that was all she needed to hear. She got out of her wheelchair, slowly climbed to the top, took a few minutes to savor her personal victory, and then slowly descended to the bottom.

I can’t help but see that treehouse in a whole new light.

One of my daily reads is ProBlogger simply for Darren Rowse’s terrific advice for how to blog better. I’m in the process of implementing many of his tips so be on the lookout for some improvements in the next few weeks.

One of Darren’s posts yesterday caught my attention, not because of his blogging advice, but because of a more powerful reminder about what to do when you get some hate and anger thrown in your direction. Consider this insight that Darren gained from a Buddhist monk:

When someone attacks you with anger and hatred say to them:
“thank you for your ‘gift’ – but I think you can keep it for yourself.”

It is easy to take on the anger of other people and to wear it as a burden of your own but it is usually unhealthy to do so.

Anger and hatred directed at you by another person is their anger and hatred and not yours. While they may wish for you to take it upon yourself – ultimately it’s a ‘gift’ that would be better not received.

I tend to have strong empathic qualities. If a co-worker, customer, or my wife gets angry, I sometimes have difficulty not getting wrapped up in their emotions. But remembering that the emotion is theirs to own and give away and I have a choice as to whether I accept it is a liberating concept.

Things have been chaotic and emotional for our family over the past week. On Monday, my wife’s grandfather, J.W. Starr (known to his grandkids and great-grandkids affectionately as Papop), died at age 85 after a very sudden diagnosis of terminal cancer. Turns out the cancer had been incubating silently within him for a while only to make it’s full presence known at the end. The time from when we first heard the heartbreaking news to the moment he died was less than a week.

Fortunately, my wife scheduled a flight a couple of days before he died and arrived in time to see him and hold his hand one last time. Shortly after he died on Monday, Caroline called me and told me to pack up the kids for the 1000 mile drive from Austin to Albany, GA.

That long drive-time in the car sparked an internal dialogue and reflection on Papop’s remarkable life and the wonderful legacy he left for all of us. He taught us so many lessons just through his simple actions. He modeled the values he felt were most important without ever needing to preach. He gave us the blessing of showing us how to live.

Have the courage to follow your faith even when it may not make sense to others
When he was in his early twenties, Papop volunteered for the military and fought in World War II as a bomber pilot in the Pacific. But before he completed his pilot training, he made the fateful decision to propose to and marry the love of his life, Mary Smith (who we all now call Mimi). Mimi held on to the letter that Papop sent to his own parents announcing his intentions and in that letter he acknowledged that their decision to marry may not make sense to their parents. In particular, Mimi’s parents reasonably feared that she might find herself a war widow before their first anniversary. However, Papop had faith that this was the right decision and knew that it was their love that would bring him home safely. Papop and Mimi were married for 62 years and their relationship is known in our family as “The Great Romance.” Together, they offered a model of what a strong marriage is for all who knew them.

It’s never too late to find your passion
One of Papop’s great legacies is his artwork. His paintings can be found in each family member’s home as well as the homes of art collectors throughout Georgia. He primarily painted landscape scenes of his life: the beaches, lowlands, and marshes of South Carolina and Georgia. As we sorted through some of his unframed works in his attic studio this week, we also discovered some lesser known works, such as portraits and still-life. The amazing thing is that this passion didn’t come out until he was much older. When we asked Mimi about how Papop started painting, she told us a story that surprised all of us. When she was a schoolteacher she had to grade papers. At that time, Papop enjoyed watching television, but it was distracting to her papergrading. So Mimi bought him some paints and brushes and hoped that this less noisy diversion would keep him busy. Turns out it not only kept him busy, but unleashed a vibrant yet untapped talent that inspired him throughout the rest of his life.

Soulful work can last a lifetime
After returning from WWII, Papop continued his education by getting a Master’s degree in Social Work and served as the Director of The Family Service in High Point, NC and then worked for the Federal Probationary Office in Macon, GA. Eventually, he and Mimi came to Albany, GA in 1952 and there he worked in his father’s typewriter sales business. Not too long ago, he retired, but continued to work in the Career Development Office of a local college. He often told us that his work helping young college students figure out their future plans was the most fulfilling work that he had ever done. Papop also gave his time to his church community that meant so much to him. For Papop, work wasn’t something to be shunned or avoided, but something that gave meaning to his life. It was his way of sharing the blessings he had with others.

These are just highlights. Putting Papop’s life into a brief retrospective is nearly impossible, though my sister-in-law managed to do this in what must be one of the all-time great eulogies ever delivered.

We talk about living a full life with no regrets. We talk about how to live in service to others. We talk about leaving a legacy behind us. It’s a blessing to encounter a role model who shows us how to do these things with grace, love, and humility. By reflecting on their lives, we’re challenged to find the magic in each day, to give far more than we get in return, to be the type of individual who makes a positive impact on each person they encounter. One way of thinking about Papop that has stayed with me is that it didn’t matter whether you knew him for an hour or a lifetime, he left a lasting impression that made you want to be a better person.

We all miss him and were blessed to know him.

John Walter Starr (1922-2007)

I’ve been a rather delinquent blogger lately and that’s been weighing heavily on me. Actually, kind of stressing me out. But I don’t think this is just a case of blog guilt…it seems to go deeper than that. It’s a feeling that I’ve been letting myself down, that I’ve been letting some of my own dreams and aspirations flitter away. There’s also a feeling that I’ve been ignoring some wonderful friends and not keeping up my end of our relationships. For the past few months, I haven’t been able to consciously figure out this block, but I sure have felt it in the pit of my stomach. Every time, that dark feeling has voiced this question: If the ideas behind Bailey WorkPlay (including this blog) and my relationships are so damn important, why am I unable to care for them anymore?

I haven’t been sleeping well lately and last night was no exception. I tossed and turned, not really able to fully relax. But somewhere in that strange state of twilight sleep I heard another voice which simply said: Be patient with yourself. Undoubtedly, my subconscious was able to break through the logjam and offer the help that my conscious mind could not. That was a few hours ago and I’ve been awake and contemplating the message ever since. All of which leads me to some insights that I hope find some resonance for you, too.

The harder we try to do something or the tighter we try to hold on to an idea, the more amorphous it can become. For me, I’ve been clinging to the notion that I should be able to do everything at the same level of intensity while forgetting that so much has actually changed in my life. New work, new home, a whole new zip code that’s 1500 miles from where I used to be. Change is good, but it can lead to unrealistic expectations of ourselves…an impatience when we don’t adapt immediately.

If you find yourself in full self-flagellation mode, give yourself permission to be patient. Be mindful of the ideas to which you’re rigidly clinging and get curious about what might happen if you released your grip even just a little. And consider a short mantra to help you through. Here’s mine for today:

Here I am. Being patient with me. Listening to my true inner voice. Knowing that I can restart again. Small acts are okay. Being patient with my humanness.

Be well and be patient.

When God wants you to follow a particular path, God will clear all obstacles from your way.

This belief has occupied my mind these past few weeks. In this short span of time, we managed to get our current house under contract and have an offer accepted on our top home in Austin, TX. So, as of August 1, we will be official Texans and Austinites.

Yet, even though most of these things easily fell into place, we did (and still do) experience some nail-biting and gut-wrenching episodes surrounding financing and repairs on our present home. I must admit that there have been more than a few times when my wife and I looked back on our decision to move and asked whether it was the right decision. Was our determination to move to another state 1500 miles away justified? Or was it a semi-delusional dream for new adventure and a better way of life? Of course, these are the questions we ask in our darker hours…but, when we reenter the light we know that this is the right path and that Austin has always been preparing to accept us. In the end, we recognize that these past few months have been an exercise in faith.

Still, it’s almost impossible to not obsess over all the details and the potential areas where things could go wrong. Fortunately, I received a trackback from Halina Goldstein who writes a blog called The Inner Travel Journal. Wandering through her blog, I discovered a post called Obsessions that really spoke to me. She writes of how we neglect the present by overfocusing on the past and the future:

Each moment is potentially exploding with energy, creativity and significance. Exactly how this I cannot say — but I know that it’s true. And the more I’m willing to let go of empty thoughts about something in the future that may or may not come true (and they will never come true exactly as I’ve imagined them anyhow), the more I’m willing to simply RESPECT THIS VERY MOMENT, NOW, the more I will enjoy my journey.

It’s a beautifully stated reminder for us to slow down, breathe, and get present. After all, that’s all we really have that’s real.

Ever have the thought that the sooner you find your purpose in life, the happier you’ll feel? It’s kind of like our unique sense of purpose is the final piece to the puzzle of life and once it locks into place…well then we can check that one off the list and then really start living.

I admit this trap is hard not to fall into at times. And when you do, it’s always nice to have someone help you climb out. For instance, I like what Patricia Soldati writes in her article, Finding Purpose: Don’t Let It Get You Down:

Purpose is not a thing, or a goal to be achieved. Maybe it’s your work…or maybe not. It lives on no one’s timetable and defies any systemic approach that says, “At the end of this lesson, you will be able to…”

In fact, the more you hard-core it – set your mind to finding it – the more elusive it becomes. You end up chasing away that which you most want to embrace in your life.

She then lists four ways to reconsider the journey of finding purpose. My big takeaway? Number 2: Find it outside of your own needs. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own sense of self-exploration, I forget that the answers to the really big questions just might exist outside of myself.

When you talk about love in the workplace, most folks think of inter-office romances or tawdry office affairs. At the very least, our culture teaches us that love should not be part of our workplace vernacular. That’s unfortunate since it is love which energizes us toward new heights and gives us courage to take authentic action.

Over the past couple of days, I’ve been reflecting on what Dennis Bakke in Joy At Work says about love and its place in our worklives. Rather than running away from love because it’s “mushy” or “soft” or simply “inappropriate,” what else is there?

It is love that allows us to give up our power of control. It is love that allows us to treat each person in our organization with respect and dignity. Love sends people around the world to serve others. Love inspires people to work with greater purpose.

As for when we feel attacked or misunderstood in our work, Bakke continues with his own experience:

Love helps me understand why some colleagues, supervisors, board members, and subordinates did not subscribe to my theories or behave in a manner consistent with our highest principles and values. Love makes it possible for me to forgive those who derided my views and caused me so much pain. Because love is directed toward others, it allows for the possibility that my critics were right and I was wrong. And, if I was wrong, I would hope that love would enable my detractors to forgive the forceful way I pushed my philosophy. (italics mine)

And as for why bringing love to our workplace is so important:

I continue to believe that love is the final and crucial ingredient in a joy-filled workplace. It is a state of mind that requires no extra costs and no difficult trade-offs against competing organizational goals. It does not demand higher compensation or fancy offices or sophisticated information systems or more specialized staff people. Yet love is perfectly consistent with even the most aggressive economic goals.

Some folks may bristle and disbelieve that last statement about the compatibility of love with making a profit, but I share his faith. In today’s world, profit is really easy come, easy go. Even those companies and non-profits who have enjoyed consistent growth can’t accurately predict the future or increasingly fickle customers. But, love is always there for us, always within us to bring to our work and those we work with. That’s the challenge, though…often it takes courage to bring that love to places where love may not always be present or to folks who don’t believe it belongs in a professional office environment.

Today, keep the Beatles in your heart and sing, “All you need is love, love, love is all you need.”

Since making the big announcement of our plans to hitch our wagon for Austin, TX, we’ve received a wide spectrum of responses from friends, family, and a few strangers. For the most part, the response has been overwhelmingly supportive bordering on admiration for taking such a grand leap of faith. That’s always appreciated considering there are times when both me and my wife look at each other with that wide-eyed gaze which silently says, “There’s a fine line between courageous and crazy…which side are we on now?”

To the other end of the spectrum lies a few folks who tend to believe that we must be running away from something. Else, why would we take such a grand leap? Perhaps I’m running from a job that’s lost its meaning…or we’re running from a place where we’ve lost a sense of community…or perhaps we’re just running away to be running. Any way you slice it this perspective evokes a sense of fear; like being in a low-budget horror movie, running from the demonic dog or masked killer who can never die.

But, throughout this unfolding adventure, I’m coming to a different space where I ask, “What if we’re running toward something?” Running from the monster is just running in any direction to get away from the beast (though it usually involves long, dark hallways). I feel we’re actually focused and running toward a richer, more soulful life. There is a lot of hopefulness in our decision and it’s that sense of hope that guides us through the inevitable turbulence.

Our decision is to make a radical change in where we call home. But the concept of running toward can apply in several other choices – some of which are more of the everyday, garden-variety types. So, how do you know if you’re running away or running toward? Take some time to reflect on these questions:

Which is more painful for me…staying the same or making a change?
Some folks are motivated by pain, some by pleasure. Let’s face it, though…most individuals view change as pain, loss, or a combination of both. If you’re stuck in a rut, it’s the fear of change because of pain that’s keeping you there. So, ask whether staying in the rut is worth all the trouble. If you’re hesitant to face a possible conflict with a co-worker or supervisor, where’s the fear/pain coming from? Instead of running from the possibility of conflict, ask whether it’s possible to run toward the improved relationship or the learning of how to communicate more effectively. Which leads to another question…

Will I learn anything about myself (or others) through this decision?
Running away from a toxic work environment or a bad personal relationship may be the right move in the short-term, but without taking the time for sufficient self-reflection you might just land in the same spot again later on. Running toward something better means you have the insight and personal understanding to run in the most appropriate direction. Which leads to yet another question…

Do I have a purpose for tomorrow?
Running toward is all about moving in the direction of a greater purpose. It means putting in the time, energy, and discipline to figure out what needs to happen in order to make that purpose a reality. However, that doesn’t mean that you have to have it all planned and mapped out. Hell, if that was the case, no one would have ever took to the seas to explore new worlds, no one would have had the courage to scale Everest, and no one would have taken great leaps of faith to find their life’s calling.

If you find yourself wondering if you’re running away from a problem or a place, reflect on some of these questions. Explore whether there is hope or fear in your heart. And don’t worry if you’re not able to take a great leap at first. Aim to take just a small risk. Over time, your confidence will grow and so will the boldness of your actions. Just remember to run toward.